They came, they gnawed, they farted. Survivor, everyone!
Who is this woman being shown being excited about the merge during Previously On? Probst didn't say her name.
Wait, there she is again! Still no mention.
Whoa, she's still there, talking to Jeremy. Probst mentioned him. Oh well, guess she must not be important.
And there's Josh. Probst mentioned him, too. Oh well, so long, mystery woman.
Y'know, that may not be the best position for that hashtag. Sad that nobody painted 'quitter' under the name there
Ah, so mystery woman is Missy. And she's giving the title quote. Still, Probst didn't mention her, so she's safe to forget. So long, Muffin.
Ah, here are the real movers and shakers. They're worried about playing deceitfully. There's never any of that on Survivor!
Look, this here is a flapping bird. Well, it looks better when there's a shadow, but you get the idea, right?
Who's ready for some Taco Overload?
Me! Me! I'm ready!
Okay, in yellow we have the Team That Will Obviously Win, with three firefighters, the strongest woman, and a buff aerialist.
And in blue, well. Sorry. Who picked these guys? Was it you, Baylor?
Well, at least you didn't pick your mom. Love you, Bay!
And the Team That Will Obviously Win leaps out to an insurmountable lead, carrying the heavy blocks with ease!
And the blue team... well, keep trying, guys. Maybe the yellow team will all drop dead.
And hey, you could still catch up on the puzzle! How many pieces are there? Six? And you say a 3-year-old could do it? Even so, there's a chance!
Well, you know, don't give up. Firefighters can't be THAT good at pulling ropes, could they?
Okay, maybe you can give up now.
Jeremy celebrates by snapping Reed's spine.
Good job, Team That Will Obviously Win! You won! So full of excitement and suspense!
And now you have to send someone to Exile. Please note that Missy hasn't been picked for anything so far today.
Cool! I get to go? Are there monkeys there?
Uh... sure there, Jon. Sure there are.
How did we lose at a brute force challenge? Inconceivable!
When in Nicaragua, be sure to tour the Maya temples (there are zero), and get some authentic... uh... Mexican food, with Dia de los Muertos themes (also Mexican)!
Mmm, tacos filled with ground-up vegetarians
Uh, where's my tip?
Seriously, Wes ate until his stomach was THIS big
Wait, you have a beachfront taco stand and no fish tacos?
*Ahem* At least Keith is using his napkin, Natalie.
He was just using it to spit in, I swear
Come on, do I look like a guy who has had ALL he could eat?
I think I'm blind.
And I, for one, welcome our new Taco Overlord.
*Groan* Time to try to talk some sense into Baylor again. This bit is always death.
Seriously, can't you at least vote Alec? He hates you!
I don't know... on the one hand, yes, I might have been booted on Day 6, were it not for Josh. On the other hand, *groan*... arguing with my mom is SO much WORK.
So as you can see, I'm talking strategy with you and not being rude, Jaclyn. But feel free to lump me in with Wes and Alec later.
Cool! An urn! I really hope there's rice in here, and not the ashes of the people we voted out.
Well this sucks. Is it at least on edible paper?
So. Many. Non-edible. Words.
Ooh, that rock looks like a sword. Maybe there's food there.
I-guana tell you a ssssecret. Look up that way.... [Ed. note: We are very sorry.]
Where have you gone, Phillip Sheppard? A nation turns its lonely eyes to your meditation rock.
Ah. There you are. Oh well, back to the grind.
Oh look. An idol under a clearly out-of-place rock. Almost in the spot where Phillip was sitting. Imagine that.
Wow! My very own hashtag! Can I eat it?
Is the helicopter cam here yet?
Don't get me wrong, I like this, and all. But I'd like it a lot more if it was made out of candy.
We're all asking that about this season, Baylor. All of us.
Looks like she already did.
When this season is over, someone will make a supercut of Keith spitting. And it will be EPIC.
If you dudes insist on grossing out all the ladies with your bodily emissions, by all means, keep it up. Makes my job that much easier.
Serious question: Is Alec reading Keith's clue or idol instructions here?
The season? But there are still 5 episodes left! This isn't The Millers! Come on.
You keep using that phrase. I do not think that means what you think it means.
Basically a... ass.
Sigh. Way to help our cause, Keith.
Keith won't be doing any whooping. The only thing that motivates Baylor is love, approval, and extra rice.
Not the flint, AGAIN?
Good luck trying, guys.
We know! Totally laughable, right?
Hey, instead of 'Drew's brother,' can you put my phone number down there? *Wink*.
Finally. Something other than petty arguing. This better be good.
Good news: This is simple memorization. Bad news: If you lose, I will run you through with my greatsword, here. CBS wants us to cut the season back.
Whoa, no pressure. But at least we can cheat pretty easily.
No, Jon. You do not get a free trip to Calavera Tacos when you hold up their logo. Sorry.
Yay. Exile Bleachers.
I'm going to call this a mask repeatedly, just to piss off anyone who recognizes it as the center of a calendar.
Natalie, you ALREADY WENT to the taco place, AND it didn't work for Jon. Come on.
Wow. Is everyone throwing this?
And after a mere three symbols, we're down to two people left. Good work, everyone.
Whaaaaaat? I was wrong?
Jeremy wins! This particular challenge.
So we get food for dropping out of the challenge, right? Please say yes.
Well that seals it. Jeremy has secured the all-important woodland creature vote. Guess we can stick a fork in this season.
SOMEONE'S got the idol, and we're gonna BURN it!
Um, you're not burning this one. Although it does look pretty flammable.
Yeah, but who doesn't? Okay, probably that mystery woman from the start. Right.
Rotten. What did you think?
Ah, time for some non-long-range thinking by the power couplers.
It's cool. I've got an idol now. You can just put this season on autopilot.
Ah, THAT's where we've seen him before.
You guys, he has the woodland creature vote. No need to overdo it.
*YAWN* Tell us something we don't know.
Calculus? Somersaults? No, she's a cheerleader, she probably does somersaults.
Worst. Madlib. Ever.
They're voting for ME? This has never happened to me before! Except those other four times.
Uh, looks like they're with Mr. Sandman now.
No, not that guy. They're just napping.
Huh. Guess he woke up.
You should probably wake Josh up and tell him.
Actual power couple scowling hour
Why on Earth would you say that? It's the secret extra helpings of rice, isn't it?
You didn't really eat ALL the rice, did you?
Well. Here we are! Josh vs. Jeremy showdown. Should be fun, right?
Yeah, seriously. No.
Even we're bored!
Fine, let's get this going. What do you think, Probst? Should I get implants?
Where's my burrito? Where's my burrito? Ah! There it is! Thank you, beard.
We are outdoors, farts tend to diffuse fairly quickly.
We've made a huge mistake.
Well, it's a 5-5 tie. One more vote. It's either Josh, or the Bay who lived.
Can I get an encore?