Keith offers a 1-second recap of the pre-merge (and the merge)

So it turns out Keith was a little upset Baylor and I voted against him! Who could have predicted?

I could have...

Look, Keith, we were in a bind. I was worried Dale might play an idol and get Baylor out, so we had to make sure YOU were voted out instead. No offense.

I'm starting to think Missy cares about Baylor more than she cares about me.

Keith, gesturing excitedly

Ep1 Supertease flashback: 'I'm glad he's gone!'

Good news, everyone! We don't have to spend half the episode with the Coyopas any more! We're merging!

Further instructions: Go back to Coyopa's camp. There is no escape. NO ESCAPE.

I'm wearing a merge buff, but they colored it slightly lighter blue to hide that the merge they just announced is coming. Hooray, technology!

Again, hooray, technology!

DJ JC celebrates the merge by cranking out some sick beats on his invisible turntable

Alec: Indeed. This is why I am preparing my running shoes. #basicallyabadass

Baylor: I'm getting signed to Merge Records? Hallelujah!

I hope they're not making us lug all this crap up the hill, just so we can lug it back again. (Spoiler alert: They are.)

How much rice do you think Probst will trade us for this?

I'm getting a confessional? It's not even my birthday!

This would have been a far better tribe name than #Huyopa

Spoiler alert: You won't be saying that at the end of this episode.

It's so awesome to get something other than the three pounds of rice Missy keeps forcing me to eat!

Lobster? Without a lemon/butter dipping sauce? Julie was right. This is almost unbearable.

It take a lot to make a stew / A pinch of salt and laughter too! ...

I wish Jeff Probst was here, so we could trade him this brownie for more rice.

We had to sit there, eating! In the sun! Oh, the heat!

Wow, these buffs look TOTALLY different from the one I'm wearing

Wait, I get a confessional? Oh yeah, it IS my birthday.

Now, let's forget this trail mix was ever in here.

It's nice to be merged with Wesley. Seems like I'm forgetting something. Oh well, probably not important. *Spit*

It's nice to be merged with Baylor. I sure hope she's still my BFF!

Great moments in continuity, part 1. Hunahpu-buffed Julie starts hiking.

Great moments in continuity, part 2. Cut to Huyopa-buffed Julie, now nearing camp.

So Jon, are we cool? Sure! Good.

So Missy, are we cool? Sure! Good.

Ooh, I know! The Krispy Krabs! All in favor, raise your pincers.

How about a name that combines the two tribe names in such a way as to avoid recognizing that 5 of the first 6 boots were from Coyopa? Such as... Coyopu?

Wait, I'm in this episode twice? Crap, I'm getting voted out, aren't I?

What am I forgetting? To spit? *Spit* Nope, that ain't it.

Okay, let's divide and conquer, Reed. I'll take Baylor, you take... Keith?

Not *excited* excited, but you know what I mean. Also not *see* as in actually look at you.

Growl/Hiss

Well, can't you give it back? I might need it after I vote you out!

Well, technically you're not really contestants, but since you're cute and obviously have a blood relationship, sure... go grab a pair of buffs.

But Mooooom! Josh said he still likes me!

Oh, Baylor. You may be 20, but I can still infantilize you on national TV!

Look Baylor, sorry, but my Day 1 alliance is more important than yours, because I'm the mommy and you're my baby.

Bigger! Smile bigger! That's not big enough!

Not before marriage, Josh. Not before marriage.

Put your application for an alliance on that pile over there. We'll consider them in the order in which they were received. Thank you, come again.

We're not actually going to consider them ALL, are we? I mean there's two of them!

I don't want to alarm you, but Reed and Wes and I have all had confessionals. Something really bad is about to happen, isn't it?

The merge changes... EVERYTHING

Seems legit

You mean me, right? I've still got it! John tells me that all the time.

It's weird that you called me out here to do a confessional and asked me about the trail mix in my bag. How did you know?

Survivor: San Juan del Sur, in one picture

Meanwhile: 'Ohhhhh! The heat! Can't stay vertical!'

Oh man! All that was in here was a hashtag! Those only have, like, 300 calories a piece.

Seriously, we're about to run out of awkward angles from which to film you!

Too many cooks! Too many cooks! ...

What? So we stole it out of her bag. After we told her to put it in there in the first place. Clearly she's the one in the wrong.

Jon: J'Accuse!

So anyway, this episode is going to come down to Josh vs. Jeremy, right?

Thank you, Sra. Martinez's kindergarten class at San Juan del Sur Elementary. It looks awesome!

Muffin tries to work her magic on Probst

Hello! I'm married! Only for the second time, even.

Too many balls! Too many balls! ...

As it turns out, they either skipped or didn't air the first stage. Eh. Whatever.

Throwing in the reins

One of several points at which we wished these were slingshots

And again...

Hooray, this is almost over.

Jon and Keith, holding their balls up, for all the world to see. Or at least the subset watching Survivor.

This is edible, right?

Hey, you narrowly beat me to win immunity on my birthday! Thanks, Dad.

Why is that blue-shirted feller still touching me? Should I ask him to stop?

He let go eventually, but I had to whoop him a few times. He'll learn.

Sigh. So glad I shrunk my stomach for weeks for this.

I sure would like to dip some trail mix in this hot water!

I'm no chef, but I'm guessing that might not be as tasty as you think.

Man, you want me to give *another* confessional about the trail mix? I'm starting to wonder why.

Good. Give in to your anger.

Anger? It's more of a boredom.

Eh. I did what I could.

Apparently the kissing marathon at the swap wasn't because they had briefly lived apart

Too many cooks! Too many cooks! ...

More importantly, where's the machete?

Too many cooks! Too many cooks! ...

Go away, chyron! I'm trying to hide!

Relax, Julie. I'm just here to film a sizzle reel for my next talk show attempt.

Okay, we'll pretend you just said something shocking. Perhaps about the results of a paternity test? And... action!

Too many cooks! Too many cooks! ...

Please. This is NOT something that people enjoy watching. I'm outta here.

Too many Probsts! Too many Probsts!

Now too many cooks could spoil the broth, but they fill our hearts with so much, so much LOVE!

Please stop. This season doesn't even HAVE an intro.

Oh, Julie quit? That's SUCH a shame for the people in her alliance.

Too many cooks!