Episode 11: "Kind of Like Cream Cheese"
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Everyone is mad at everyone, except Alec, who flirts with Jaclyn. Yay. Then Reed gets booted.
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Yeah! One of the two guys targeted in a vote split went home! What are the odds? -
Theory: San Juan del Sur is entirely a figment of Jon's imagination, and all the hashtags are merely his farts. -
Did someone say farts? I can do more than just spit, you know. -
Ahhhh. Yup. -
Dude, it wasn't me. -
Pretty sure we've established that it was. -
It was me! I did it all! I swear! -
*sigh* If you say so, Jon. -
Seriously, some of these people are poor. Well, not Reed. Or Missy or Baylor. But some of them might be, and they probably won't pay you back if you offer them credit. -
Excuse me, I do NOT need advice on operating a lending agency, JON. -
Come on in, guys! Getting your first look at my new twitter handle. It's the same as the old one, but honestly it's the best thing about this challenge. -
Horses and brownies reward? Women: Yay! Men: Meh. Alec: Huh? -
Jeff, if I cry before the challenge, can you just swap whoever wins out for me now? -
Yeah, sure. Whatever. -
No copying off of Keith, Baylor! (It's not really against the rules, just that you probably don't want to.) -
Everyone: This is boring, Probst. Natalie: Yay! A question about twins! -
Told you, Baylor -
Finally! An individual reward challenge! -
It feels pretty individual to me. -
Whoa. Harsh. -
Y'know, technically, a skull would not be filled with blood, unless it's the one Probst uses for his thrice-daily drink of youth-restoring plasma. -
Oh my gosh! Did I do that? Perish the thought. -
You asked a question about Julie, Probst? A quit can't be far off, then. -
Whoops. You would think production would have just cut to a shot of the Alec skull getting crushed after the fact, to avoid this embarrassment. -
We knew we were down in numbers before this started. Hooray for new information! -
I haven't gotten my chop in for the Julie question yet. Should we just quit? -
Sure. I quit on Julie, so should you. -
Good news, Missy. Your alliance picked you as the lucky person whose shoulder I get to touch today. I have a Sharpie here, do you want me to autograph the spot for you? -
Can I go get my idol yet? -
How dare you, Reed? I EARNED this reward. -
I'm sure you'll return the favor and swap yourself out for me then, right? -
If by 'swap myself out' you mean vote you out, then yes. -
Awesome! Thanks! -
I'm showing you my gratitude, Reed! -
Man, I hope they put some food in here this time. -
A SIDEWAYS tree? They stocked a tree with Pinot Noir? Awesome! -
Go East, young man. -
Wow, another clearly out-of-place pile of rocks. This idol sure is hidden. -
Another hashtag fart. Theory supported. -
We would be milking our own milk, but that sounds like too much work. -
Wow! A courtyard! with real bricks!. -
The architecture! OMG! That's what I've been missing for the past 27 days. -
Cheers to winning! -
Natalie found an idol, Mom! -
Holy f***, Baylor. You found an idol all by yourself? They grow up so fast! -
Well... I'd like to think I had some involvement. -
Mmmmm... eating the whole brownie... all to myself... mmmmm. -
I am just so mad that they didn't take me! I could be tanning somewhere else! -
We should probably point out to Jaclyn that Natalie plans to go to the final three with Missy and Baylor, JUST LIKE the reward trip. Who knows if it'll sink in in time. -
Okay, Jaclyn: Natalie plans to go to the final three with Missy and Baylor, JUST LIKE the reward trip. -
Five hours later: You know, he's probably right. I should tell Jon. -
What's a final three? Also, whoa, I'm on fire. *Spit* -
Oh noes! Alec and Jaclyn are sitting near each other! -
I guess it would be bad if Jon & Jaclyn took Alec to the final three, but come on, that's not going to happen. -
As it turns out, cream cheese did not make this episode better. -
Keith: Can I take one of these here paddles home with me, for when Wesley's misbehavin'? -
Ten seconds before the challenge begins, Alec is already eliminated. -
Smearing my face with dirt is really keeping these balls in line. -
Once again, Keith's balls haven't dropped in a while. -
Hooray, Keith is the new Skupin! -
The product is money, Jeff. -
Okay, Jaclyn is convinced, Jon is back. Things are going to start happening for me now. -
Jaclyn: So basically, Natalie's going to vote us out at F5. Jon: Don't be silly, I have an idol. -
Exile Island... mmmm. It's like the Room of Requirement. I go there, say 'I need a new idol, I just played my old one,' and one magically appears! -
Are you sure a rock didn't fall on your head? -
Jon: Hold that thought, Reed, I feel something coming on... phew, good thing we're outside. -
Ah, I knew it. Another hashtag. Whew, that's a ripe one! -
Oh by the way, Missy, since everyone's telling you about idols: I have another one, too! -
Seriously, I don't know what you've been eating at Exile, but you're making WAY too many hashtags. No offense. -
Guess I better get back to spittin'. -
Whoa, I thought that was a hashtag. Hope nobody noticed. Guess I'd better go clean up in the ocean. -
Please boot me now. -
So uh, Probst? Will the fire protect us from all these hashtags? They are flammable, right? -
Oh grow up, you guys. Weren't you wishing you had some earlier, Alec? -
Only a few moments left. Think of home. There's no place like home. -
Looks like it's time for you to SPLIT, Reed. Get it? Get it? It's 'cause you're a dancer, and you did the splits the other day? Anyone? Laugh, damn you! Fine, just go with The Tribe Has Spoken. WHATever. -
Seriously, Jeff. Don't give up your day job. -
We made it! No more hashtags!
Jeff Pitman is the founder of the True Dork Times, and probably should find better things to write about than Survivor. So far he hasn't, though. He's also responsible for the Survivometer, calendar, boxscores, and contestant pages, so if you want to complain about those, do so in the comments, or on Bluesky: @truedorktimes
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