Jeff Pitman's Survivor: San Juan del Sur vidcap galleries - Come for the pictures, stay slightly longer for the captions. Or don't.
Episode 2: "Method to This Madness"
By Jeff Pitman | October 5, 2014
Survivor 29: San Juan del Sur Vidcap gallery

Relive the highlights of Episode 2, a.k.a. the one where John Rocker lost his way into finding a hidden idol.

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    I mean, don't get upset, but 'Baylor'? It's a terrible name. Was it a typo or something?
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    I'm pretty sure she bought that
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    Wait... is he the one who voted for me?
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    WTF happened to Day 4? Was it medevaced?
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    Reed demonstrates Huanhpu's intended negotiating position, as the idol creepily watches from a nearby tree
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    Wayll, that's something I don't see everday down at the station
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    You may remember me telling my dad to hurry up make fire on Day Zero. Well... probably not. But even so, we lost our flint.
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    I didn't do it, but I'll say I did!
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    Don't be silly, flints are for smashing urns and such
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    Quick, everyone touch Natalie. Well, okay, you're excused, Julie.
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    It sucks that Nadiya is gone, Probst. What a stupid question.
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    But what I really miss is... sob... our flint. Even though we still have a fire going.
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    The never-picked 'More Fishing Gear' reward from S27 looks hopefully at the contestants
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    Gosh, we sure would like to win you, More Fishing Gear! But we suck.
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    Reed looks to extend his 1-game winning streak of Rock/Paper/Scissors. But Reed, as he always does, picks rock.
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    Oh, John. I'm so delighted you volunteered me for this.
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    Rocker, in addition to being gigantic, is also a lefty. Seems fair.
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    Shh! No! Stop shushing so loudly!
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    For all of Rocker's hilarious ball-dropping, they're both on their third and final balls here.
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    Ooh! A non-working pinball machine!
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    Hunahpu: Yayyyy!!!!! Natalie: Well done, I guess.
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    Rocker aims a zero-seamer directly at Probst's head
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    That was John's worst performance with a ball since 2003 with Tampa. Whoops.
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    Come over here, Julie. Let me touch your shoulder. I dated a Julie once, you know. She was on Survivor, just like you.
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    I'm getting exiled? With Rocker? Thanks a lot, Julie.
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    Ah, Exile Island. So many memories.
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    It's Jeremy, right? Well, let's get one thing straight right now: No spooning.
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    Finally! Somebody won me! I'm going to Hunahpu!
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    Uh, Jeff? Could we maybe NOT take that fishing gear? It seems needy.
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    NOOOOOOOOO!!!! WHY? WHY? *sobs* WHY?!!!
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    Man, I feel bad for that poor More Fishing Gear. Sure wish I hadn't pretend lost the flint.
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    Yeah, we already have a fire, but that fishing gear just kinda creeps us out. Give us another flint, Probst.
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    Thy will be done.
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    Call me Garrett.
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    Seriously, though: WTF happened to Day 4?
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    It's okay, Natalie. I'm going to comfort you by pulling your hair back, so you don't get tears in it.
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    I feel bad for her. She missed out on a chance to split her twin sister's lip open in the next challenge.
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    Oh, great. JULIE'S talking again.
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    Missy insisted on doing my hair. Please let me use a mirror, just for a second.
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    Now that he's gone, let's all share our favorite John Rocker anecdotes. I loved that he didn't go in for the crazy facial hair, like that Ligtenberg guy.
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    Dale delights his tribe with an extended discussion of BABiP and xFIP.
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    I was mostly a fan of Rocker's K/IP ratio.
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    Jeremy checks the chyron, hoping it's actually Fantasy Island. Nope.
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    So, what's your Urn Run Average, John?
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    Should we read these, or use them to start a fire? Your call, bro.
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    Fine.
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    Dude, that totally makes more sense than fWAR.
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    Hooray! An almost-water challenge! In a season with 'water' right there in its name! After this, back to the land-based ones.
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    Welcome back, my one true final two alliance dude!
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    Ha ha, losers! None of us have to fight Rocker!
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    Fooled you guys! This is an auction.
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    Okay, let's go! Best of three, but we'll air it as one.
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    Coyopa: Hooray! Jaclyn won! Dale: Oh no! Jaclyn won!.
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    As the Hunahpus recognize Kelley's valiant effort, sit-out Julie messes with her hair.
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    U mad, bro?
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    Firefighters! Using pillows! Begin.
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    Uh... you don't need to be QUITE that excited that Jeremy lost, Val.
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    Well, well. The shoe is on the other foot now, eh?
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    Man, I really wish I'd juiced today.
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    Man, I really wish I'd eaten raw fish today.
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    Oh, dear. Probst is passing out in ecstasy.
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    Let's go, John.
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    John Rocker: Three challenges, three losses. Including the one specifically designed for him to win.
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    Before we begin, let me be clear: Social Services has no jurisdiction here. Now please get on with the pummeling.
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    Oh, I'm totally putting you in a home now.
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    This is great! Wait, should I call in medical? But this is so great! This is all so sudden! I don't know what I'm saying!
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    In which a lightly grazed Missy turns around and leaps into the water. Seems legit.
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    Drew: Dude, I don't think either of them play for our team. They're dating each other, you know.
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    Reed: I'm imagining you as someone who wrote a scathing review. Josh: Me too!
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    Probst: Uh... guys? No hugging! Break it up! Please? Guys?
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    Probst: It's the battle of the old guys! Both of whom went to high school at the same time I did.
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    Probst: Dale, if your daughter wins, you guys lose. If your tribemate wins, your daughter loses. How does that make you FEEL?
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    Pillow fight!
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    Hey Dad, were you watching? I won.
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    We would've won, if not for you John. Or you, Val. Or you, Alec. Or you, Josh.
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    Well, time to not find two idols.
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    Take that, you stupid flag. It's all your fault.
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    What does that say down there? Dude who beat Keith, right? Sure wish I hadn't broken my reading glasses.
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    Woo! Fun times at the old water cooler, hearing Val's idol stories.
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    Seems legit. But if Val already has two idols, there's probably another one here, or they wouldn't have given Jeremy a clue.
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    That was quick.
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    Yes! Now I've gone from third boot to fourth boot! Maybe even fifth!
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    Look Val, I'm protecting you by warning them you have idols.
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    ...and telling them to vote for you!
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    That's a great plan, John. I'm really excited to carry it out.
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    I told Jeremy I'd help you, so I've told everyone you have two idols, and they should vote for you. That's good, right? Are we even?
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    Man, I wish Jeremy had told him to vote me out
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    Do I have leaves stuck to my blindside? Can you check?
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    So I'm either going to vote Baylor or Val. Has Baylor even had a confessional this episode? It's a real mystery which way I'll go.
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    Well, time to say goodbye to one of these people. Hint: It's not Baylor. Or Josh. Or Dale.
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    Dale: Somebody here had a WHIP of 1.70 in 2000. Hint: He also lost two individual challenges this episode.
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    Hey, remember when Drew whipped me in that challenge? Heh. That was awesome.
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    Thank you for sharing, Alec.
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    Can we start arguing yet? Okay, Baylor told me to vote Dale last time.
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    That's crazy talk! I said to vote WITH Dale. Probably.
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    Besides, why would anyone vote against Dale? DALE, WAKE UP!
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    Must protect Val... Vote for Val... Must protect Val... Vote for Val... Dental plan... Lisa needs braces... Dental plan....
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    You didn't play your idols? You've cost me this election! And yet if I were to have you killed, *I* would be the go to jail. That's democracy for you.
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    Wait, someone voted for ME? Was that you again, Josh?
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    Here you go, Alec. This time, please write someone's name down. The ballot paper is not for 'rolling your own.'
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    Dammit, Val! How many times do I have to keep protecting you by voting you out? This is tiring!
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    Sigh.

Jeff Pitman's recapsJeff Pitman is the founder of the True Dork Times, and probably should find better things to write about than Survivor. So far he hasn't, though. He's also responsible for the Survivometer, calendar, boxscores, and contestant pages, so if you want to complain about those, do so in the comments, or on Bluesky: @truedorktimes