Episode 3: "Actions vs. Accusations"
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Relive the highlights of Episode 3, a.k.a. the one where John Rocker yelled at Natalie and got voted out.
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Wow, I can NOT trust Josh, even though he changed his vote at Tribal to save me -
Look, I'll tell you the same thing I'll tell Jeremy: I TRIED to save Val. Sure, I wrote her name down, but my pen slipped. -
Rocker: What happened? I was trying to save Val, who I had a secret alliance with. Josh: Uh, I was trying to save Baylor, who *I* have a secret alliance with. Rocker: Oooh, good thinking. -
He's a crafty one, that Rocker -
Hooray, they didn't skip a day this time. RIP, day 4. -
I've decided to get these clowns busy making a better roof for our shelter, while I nap. -
I dunno, Missy. This is pretty complicated. I'm gonna have to rest now. -
On the plus side, that was the first time he hasn't called me Josh. -
I would finish this sentence, but... zzzzz. -
I will beat my son. In the next challenge, I mean. Whoops. -
Wake up, you fool. Don't give the audience any ideas. -
That's hilarious! TAR is way more sleep-inducing. -
I am not sure how to take that. Because honestly, this season IS pretty boring. That's what happens when you only have one Twinnie. -
Don't worry, Natalie. If they brought back Exile Island for no reason, they'll probably bring back the Outcasts twist, too. -
Why would I want to tell Val to find a scoutmaster's uniform to wear at Ponderosa? What are you saying? -
Getting their first look at the new Hunahpu, Val voted out at the last Tribal -
Die, Jerks. -
It wasn't me! I tried to save her! Blame my alliance! -
Say what, now? -
Has Rocker even watched a single episode of this show? -
Hunahpu is delighted at the rewards, except Reed, who feels the pattern on the blanket is a bit outdated -
Wait, is that the famously never-picked More Fishing Gear? Its repeated losing really appeals to us. -
Spoiler alert: Julie does not pick Rock. -
Way to be supportive, Wes -
Drew, I keep telling ya. My name is Keith -
Remember: The most important consideration in framing a duel shot is to keep Probst in the picture at all times -
Ah, there you go. -
Coyopa finally wins something! Rocker: Eh, whatevs. -
Heh. Suckers, those idiots are probably going to pick that More Fishing Gear, aren't they? -
Probst: Wait, are you CRYING? There's ALWAYS crying in Survivor! Do go on. -
Aw -
We also have a child or parent here, *sniff* -
Probst: I'm contractually obligated to massage your shoulder now. Wes: Okay, but make it quick. -
Hooray! Exile Island! We should have a rockin' good time there. -
Get going, old man -
Its never-picked curse broken, the More Fishing Gear mask immediately attacks Baylor's face. She will be missed. -
Why couldn't the mask have attacked Rocker? -
Good job finding the one green place in Hunahpu's camp from which to film this -
Just a reminder that Reed is still on this season -
Okay, let's all talk about John Rocker. Just in case CBS forgets to air pre-season ads. -
Phew, that still says the 'friend' part, not just 'girl.' -
I feel like John's reputation is hurting my game. It's so unfair! Even though that's why we're both playing the game in the first place. -
Oh, fine. I'll share my clue with you. As long as you'll share your mustache-growing tips with me. -
Heh, I really hoodwinked that city slicker. -
Keith: Dammit. -
Clue four will probably include an actual idol for reference. -
Well, that was fun. Just 24 hours left to eat snails and reminisce about when Jimmy Johnson was here. -
Just a reminder that everyone loves rocks, and people with Rock in their name -
Who said that More Fishing Gear was cursed? I got us a fish! -
Yup. Caught us a fish. Got an idol. I'm pretty much unbootable right now. -
Wait, I'm getting an actual confessional? With my name and everything? Awesome! -
Most frightening possible Final Three ever? -
Pretty sure I convinced Wes and Alec to flip with me -
Wait, why did you call us frightening? We are great strategists! -
(Psst... you're not sitting) -
Just a reminder that Reed is still on this show, and he's starting to get a little testy about his lack of screen time -
Welcome to the challenge. I don't how to put this delicately, but you guys stink. I'll stand back here. Upwind. -
Dale: Uh, Jeff? Can I be in this episode? Probst: Nope. -
Let's go Baylor. Nobody will guess we have an alliance if we pair up here. -
We're up against Josh and Baylor? Heh. Seems fair. -
I'll lean back and relax, here, Baylor. Take your time on the shot. No hurry. I'm still digesting my snails -
Okay, maybe slightly more hurry next time. -
Well, this should be fun. -
Yup. -
Dale: Hey, if I yell Rocker's name, can I be in this episode? Probst: Eh, sure. -
Twinnies! -
Well, Hunahpu's back to winning again -
Yay, etc. -
Boo, etc. -
In-episode editors: Greedo shot first! -
Pre-season ad editors: Han shot first! -
In-episode editors: John Rocker! You are an (unjustly accused) bad man! -
Pre-season ad editors: You look like a man! I thought people LOSE weight on Survivor! -
Look, this is going nowhere. Can we all just agree Rocker is a terrible Survivor player, and get on with voting him out? -
Eh, whatever. -
He meant Baylor, right? -
No tossing the flag in disgust today! Johnny Rock has turned a new leaf. -
Well, time to kick the strategy into high gear -
Let's vote Dale! -
Let's vote Baylor! -
Strategy is set, and I'm totally safe. -
You have an eye-what now? -
Yeah, yeah, everyone says that -
Latrine. When you're camping, it's called a latrine. -
Is it smart to vote John? How about if I tilt my head some more? Now is it smart? -
New Instagram filter: Obscuring trees -
Before we begin, I'd just like to say: We suck, let's boot a girl. Or Dale. -
Hmmm, no. -
Dale: Wait, he just mentioned me! Does that mean I get to talk? Probst: Hmmm, no. -
Before we vote, I just want to say: We're all voting Rocker, so he should probably play his idol. -
Didn't I tell them I'm John Wetteland? Pretty sure I did. No worries. -
That's the last time we're letting Jaclyn talk at Tribal -
I can't trust Josh, except this once -
Pretty sure 'Jon' is on the other tribe. Boy, he must've really pissed these people off. -
I think you mean Josh. -
So, Outcasts twist, or S30? Either way, I'm coming back, right? -
Forgot my backpack, though. Dangit.
Jeff Pitman is the founder of the True Dork Times, and probably should find better things to write about than Survivor. So far he hasn't, though. He's also responsible for the Survivometer, calendar, boxscores, and contestant pages, so if you want to complain about those, do so in the comments, or on Bluesky: @truedorktimes
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