I asked you guys repeatedly to trade me to Beauty. Did you listen? No. Now Kass flips on me? FML.

Wait, LJ was in this episode? This is why the world needs vidcaps.

Triple win: Threat gone, two idols burned, Spencer ranting about estrogen. Who's the villain now?

Fine. (Raises hand)

Just playing by my gut, guys. It's almost as finely tuned as Lex's.

Seeing a crack in the opposing alliance, Morgan leaps into action.

You're kidding. LJ was in this scene, too?

Morgan takes a quick inventory of the number of her allies.

Can I go back to napping yet?

Apparently not.

Psst, Woo. You're supposed to salute Probst before each challenge. Haven't you watched this show before?

Okay, now you're just rubbing it in that LJ actually appeared in this episode.

Okay, fine. Yes, Tasha was there, too. Geez. Write your own recap next week.

Team Orange, putting their muscular dudes in front for the balance portion.

Team Purple, making the top two finishers in the last balance challenge go last.

Survivors ready... please don't splash me... go.

See? Morgan doesn't always sleep.

Wooo...ooops.

Untying knots will never stop being great TV. EMMY.

Wait a minute. They dismantled the water slide? You bastards.

SuperWoo!

Um, dude. There's a rope right there.

Did Probst just say 'chest'? Yes. Yes he did.

Woo attempts to do a puzzle while getting extensive guidance from Luzon's epic Ep1 puzzle-doing Brain Trust.

More LJ. That guy's everywhere.

This is so exciting! It might almost have been worth getting up for!

We're ready for our dinner, LJ. Don't screw it up.

FAST! Those guys are FAST at doing puzzles.

Seeing a crack in the opposing alliance, Spencer leaps into action.

Good job, guys. Remember: check your napkins.

Okay, Woo. We've got rice and coconut. It's a party! We don't need no stinking reward.

This is the worst day, ever.

Just tell me who you want us to vote for, Kass. Otherwise, it'll be Trish telling me, and you know how much that sucks.

Psst. She's right behind you. [Editor's note: Sorry.]

Patience, Tony. All will be revealed in due time.

On the plus side, at least Tony avoided doing this in pink underwear.

Wait, they've had an Outback Steakhouse at the merge camp THIS WHOLE TIME?!?

Wood fire-grilled, eh? We've had so little of our food cooked over wood fires thus far. What a treat!

You guys. I FINALLY got traded to the Beauty tribe. And I got steak, pineappleritas, and an idol clue out of it. WHY DID YOU MAKE ME WAIT SO LONG?

Naturally, the Brain is the only one who has yet to check his napkin for an idol clue.

Uh, dude? You got something up there. No, no, IN your napkin.

Oohhhhh.

Urggggh. Pineapplerita...

Gotta go read my clue, guys. Although the editors will make it look like this is when I'm leaving to find the idol.

Cool, so I can take a nap before I follow you? Awesome.

Seeing an opportunity to protect herself from the boot, Morgan leaps into action.

This had better be for the Tyler Perry idol, or this whole episode will seem like filler. Wait, did I say that out loud?

More power than a crown? Okay, then. Tyler Perry idol it is!

Well, time to take off the pants and shoes I wasn't wearing seconds ago.

So LJ was saying to me 'I am a big fan of Survivor, and I know that when there's a reward like the Outback shack...'

It's true! See? He can run across water!

My kingdom for a pair of cargo shorts.

So stealthy, you can barely detect him as he becomes one with the foliage.

Seems legit.

Oh, don't thank me. Thank wardrobe for giving me a swimsuit without pockets

Sonic Mode enabled.

Oh FFS.

Woo!

Who?

Leave it to us. We know a little about finding idols. Right, LJ?

Our rice-and-coconut party just improved.

Rampant hashtaggery! Everyone is looking for the idol!

Well, ok. Not EVERYONE.

No, really. Everyone! See? Quick, look before it's not true.

A+ effort there, Kass.

Funny what our game has devolved to. Hashtags and crawling around looking for idols named after movie stars.

I got it! I got it! I got the Tyler Perry idol! I'm somebody now! Things are going to start happening to me now!

What? It's a regular idol? You bastards. You miserable, lying bastards.

Well, I'm the first Brain to find this since Garrett. And we all know how that turned out.

Meanwhile....

Hey guys. Since some of you seemed upset about spending a third of the show on idol hunts, we've decided just to guillotine the lot of you. Not my fault, it's in the contract.

Really? Well, no salute for you this time, pal.

Did I say guillotine? I meant stand with a block of wood on your head until you wish there was a blade attached. My bad.

Three seconds in, Kass is STILL in this.

So, uh... anyone have any good stories?

Oof, it's about nap o'clock, right?

Oh. Well, YOU'RE done, my pretty.

Three.

Two.

Okay, yes, Tasha and LJ were both in this, too. Stop interrupting our countdown.

Won.

We would clap, but we can't move our legs. Don't question our logic.

Yay.

Arrr. That be plan A.

Morgan? That tribe of dimwits that built a barrier with SAND to protect their shelter from the tide?

Come on, you guys. I'm still here. Don't pretend you don't remember.

You guys are totally setting me up for future embarrassment with these subtitles, aren't you? Jerks.

Look, I already have double immunity, the numbers don't work, and you guys are booting Morgan, so I don't really give a shit, but... flip again, maybe? The producers told me to fill time before Tribal.

Seeing an opportunity to prolong her game, Morgan commences scrambling.

Did anyone remember to wake up Morgan?

I flipped last vote, Jeff. It was me. Please give me another hashtag.

All I got was #CopsRUs?

Look, just because the Purple Wedding airs this week does not mean anything. I have a necklace, see?

Could I say something? If I don't, you guys totally won't show this end of the Tribal seating order again this week.

I woke up for THIS?

Most people would choose to be cute.

Come on, Morgan. I told you: You're not cute, you're hot.

Can we just vote, already?

That's not very nice, Woo. Parts of Morgan are not that skinny.

Yeah, you go tally those votes, Probst.

This would be more funny if it wasn't true. Can someone wake her up, please?

Well, at least you're done with the napping jokes. They're getting a bit tiresome.

Oh, really? Surprise! This was all a dream sequence!