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Episode 11: "Chaos is My Friend"
By Jeff Pitman | May 7, 2014
Survivor 28: Cagayan Vidcap gallery

It's the auction! Which means there's finally a way for Jefra to buy her way into the episode's edit.

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    Previously on... Survivor. There was a contestant named Jefra. Which is apparently as surprising to her as it is to us.
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    That's not a very nice thing to say, Mr. TDT. Look, I have a confessional! Sure, it's my last one this episode, but still...
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    Brains tribe members' relative screen time, graphed by height.
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    I knew Spencer had an idol, just re-watch last week's episode. I said it right there.
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    Oh, please.
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    Trish, I think my ass may still be broken. Please check it.
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    While the tiny women are distracted by Woo's butt, Giant Spencer threatens to crush them in his oversized hands.
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    Meanwhile, Trish mistakes the wallets for food, and prepares to eat the unsuspecting Woo.
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    Following her meal, Trish lets out a satisfied howl.
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    Too far, Pitman. Too far.
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    Come on, there are at least two people left who probably haven't seen it before.
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    Well, *I've* seen the auction before, and I'm getting the advantage.
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    Oh, please.
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    Arrival at the auction, with Spencer already in the crucified martyr pose.
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    Hooray, another substitute for physical challenges!
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    I'm a fan of these auctions, mainly because I have to share the screen with at most one of you smelly peons
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    It's... sort of food.
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    That would cost way more than $80 at a movie theater! I'm in.
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    Having the Tyler Perry idol apparently gives Tony psychic powers about how the auction will work.
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    If I pay you $100, will you let me be in this episode?
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    AND I get food? Wow! But I also get booted. Still, food is a plus.
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    Mmm, steak sandwich-y.
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    Why have you forsaken me?
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    Just sitting around, waiting to bid on various advantages.
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    I bid $1 million!
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    Trish, returning to the Cheapo Depot
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    Ribs? Woo!
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    I'm kind of wishing I didn't tell you guys I was holding out for an advantage now.
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    Food porn.
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    All in your mouth? Leave the out-of-context inappropriate comments to me, next time, okay?
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    Starting to think Trish had the right idea when she wanted to eat Woo.
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    Register now and save! SpencerGotScrewed.com
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    Ha! Those guys. Blowing their $500 on a rock draw. I'm wisely holding out for the challenge advantage, since I never win immunity without it.
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    Urgh. Can't talk. Food coma.
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    In addition to the idol clue, Tony won the chance to swap out his tribal tattoo for a sweet Khal Drogo one.
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    Here are the directions. Just make sure Andrea doesn't shadow you when you go to dig.
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    This is huge. I really needed this. Wow. Again.
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    Officer Ahab.
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    No nascent women's alliance to see here, move along.
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    They may not be planning to take you out now, Tony, but they are at F5.
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    In which Giant Tony threatens to crush poor Spencer under the fire shelter.
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    Hey guys? Does this crab kinda look like my tattoo? Anyone?
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    White tree found. It's a weirwood.
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    That was quick...
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    We probably could have figured that out without the hashtag, CBS.
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    Another deleted scene from the auction: Tony won the chance to have facial reconstruction surgery to look more like a hidden idol.
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    As far as you know...
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    We weren't kidding about his looking more like a hidden idol.
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    Listening to Probst. Again.
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    Sadly, LJ missed the challenge with the giant horseshoes.
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    Pulling a rope out from the sand? That seems... challenging.
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    Wow. Amazingly, the ropes seem to have been buried in a straight line.
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    Two minutes in, and Tasha already has an insurmountable lead. Fun stuff.
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    Tony and Tasha! Way ahead of Woo, who... barely misses the win.
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    Sometimes a 'maze' can be a zigzag, apparently.
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    Woo! Catching up!
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    Not so fast, Woo.
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    Tasha wins!
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    Oh man, I was hoping for triple immunity.
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    We have to stop meeting like this, Tasha. Seriously, women winning challenges makes me feel uncomfortable and vaguely inadequate.
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    We know, Probst. We know.
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    Spoiler alert: Tasha wins! (Immunity, in this episode.)
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    I won immunity! That means I can have a confessional, right?
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    One of the few shots this episode that did not contain Tony.
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    Dude, if I talk to you, will I get to be on camera?
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    Sure, but only for four seconds, before they switch it over to me. Unless you can come up with a memorable catchphrase.
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    Hodor!
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    In order to break up the women's alliance, you need to get Tasha to vote with us. Which would require breaking the women's alliance, but... well... just do it.
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    Oh, Spencer. Did we BOTH make a fake women's alliance? How funny!
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    She's in the coconut? Why didn't you tell me before I chopped it?
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    In which Spencer constructs his own spy shack, in hopes of screen time and/or hashtags. He settles for neither.
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    A spy shack? Seriously? That's so last episode.
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    For the white walkers? Does this mean we're sacrificing Spencer?
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    Did I at least get my own hashtag this week? (*looks down*) Sweet.
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    Nothing to see here, Jefra. Keep staring straight ahead.
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    Professor Bledsoe delivers his weekly lecture on how to play Survivor properly.
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    I'm talking to you, specifically, Trish.
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    Gotta say, that was a bit long-winded, there, young lad.
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    Sigh. I know, only the host is allowed the deliver Tribal Council sermons. Whatever.
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    Ha ha! Just kidding! They're voting out what's-her-name
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    I have a name, Probst.
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    Yay! Beauty party at Ponderosa.
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    My final words count as a confessional, right?

Jeff Pitman's recapsJeff Pitman is the founder of the True Dork Times, and probably should find better things to write about than Survivor. So far he hasn't, though. He's also responsible for the Survivometer, calendar, boxscores, and contestant pages, so if you want to complain about those, do so in the comments, or on Bluesky: @truedorktimes