Episode 8: Botox vs. implants
Survivor 30: Worlds Apart Vidcap gallery
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This week: In which Jeff Probst, in attempt to stave off the aging process, considers getting breast implants. Of course.
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I'm badmouthing playing hidden idols, so the editors are making me look like I'm asleep. -
Jennvase X -
Don't worry, Will. That'll change. -
Really? What about my magic? -
Rainbows and Merica? You don't see that every day. Although you do on Day 20, apparently. -
Come on, Dan. You're supposed to cut the head off the *snake*. Not the catfish. -
What, you want to cut the fins off, too? What are you, Roose Bolton? -
Welcome back, Keith Nale! Your insight has been sorely missed. -
While Rodney's back was turned, we've secretly been filling his camp with women. Let's see if he notices. -
We'll take that as a yes. -
The grass blade of doom points squarely at Hali. Been nice knowing you, Hali. -
Rodney: No it hasn't. -
Okay, guys. Wanna know what you're playing for? -
I win, Jeff! -
Mmm, not quite. But good try, Dan. -
Okay, it's that point in the challenge where we point and laugh at the nerd. Glad we got that out of the way. -
Okay, it's that point in the challenge where we place cameras in odd locations to get shots we have to blur. You're not cooperating, Sierra. -
This is an individual challenge, but we hate having any more than three competitors, so tough luck, you other eight. -
Concentrate, Daniel-san. -
Spoiler alert: Jeff Kent doesn't win this one. -
Sadly, Dockers declined the product placement opportunity. -
Bad news, guys. Joe has something in his eye. He's being medevacced for corneal abrasions. Tough break. -
Carolyn: Hooray! Maybe I can win now! -
Hey Jeff, can I have Joe's reward feast? He won't be needing it. -
I can? Allow me to preemptively open my mouth so that I don't miss a crumb. -
Probst: Wait, *you* like Shirin, Joe? Maybe I was all wrong in mocking her continuously. -
No, you should love *me*, Probst. -
Wait, you don't love *me*, Probst? -
Good for you, Jenn. Good for you. -
Why are you making me sit here for confessional? Is there an idol up there? -
I am Dan Lembooooooo! -
I am Al Yankovic! -
I *am* braking. Badly. I mean, I am Walter White! -
Okay, everyone done checking the cushions and napkins for idol clues? Yes? Let's eat. -
My drink was fine. Why do you ask? -
Cheers. Yay for soda instead of beer. Everyone loves that. -
Found an idol without a clue. Doesn't find a clue everyone else sees. -
Careful, Joe. All-seeing Tyler is watching. -
I said all-seeing Tyler is wa-... eh, you'll probably blow it anyway. -
Fine, let's go, all-seeing Tyler. -
Oh, great. Now all-seeing Mike is in on it, too. -
There's a lake of money around here? Why are we bothering with this dumb game, then? -
I feel like this tree in the background is symbolically separating us, Mike. So here's everything I know. -
Mike goes into #NinjaStealthMode, except as a Mad magazine character. -
This is the #MadTreasureHunt, except instead of hunting idols and stolen clues, they're just looking for Joe. -
Welp, there he is. #SadTreasureHunt. -
Come on, Joe. Fold up your pants. -
We're cuter, we've got better bodies. I'll rinse you off, Jenna. -
Everyone thinks I have an idol. That's pretty much the same as having one, right? I'll stop looking now. -
It's the Shirin and Dan SuperFAN FUN Time Hour! -
Shirin, I think it was really dumb of you, as a superfan, to go on the reward with Joe. You should have stayed in camp so I could yell at you. What were you thinking? -
Oh, Andy Capp! Will you ever stop being hilarious? -
That was great! Can we have a double episode next week -
Mmm, termitey. -
So there I was, looking for the i-... oh, whoa, cool flying fish. -
Take that, 'theory' of gravity. -
Taste the happy, Michael. Taste it! -
Kinda tastes like sad. -
Merica. -
No, Joe. Will is *not* interested in your yoga class. Please stop asking. -
Okay, guys. This one is all puzzles. Tough luck, most of you. -
Joe: I can taste Jenn's happy from here! -
But before we start, a serious question: You alerted me that the botox isn't working. Should I get breast implants instead? -
Yeah, sure. Go for it. Make 'em big. -
Yay! Puzzles and more puzzles! And when you finish those, more! -
Always be throwing, Rodney. Always be throwing. -
Yahtzee! -
Well, he is a superfan. And he says he's great at math. I guess that's possible. -
Incorrect is a synonym for right, isn't it? -
Ooh, he card read good! -
I win again, Probst. Do I have to do the finger-gun thing for it to count, or what? -
Isn't that exactly the same wrong answer you just had, seconds ago? -
Yes. Yes it is. -
Cheer up, Dan. You're the winner of our hearts. -
But in another, more accurate sense, Joe is the real winner. -
Damn you, you stupid, probably female, puzzle! -
Smiles, everyone. Smiles! Joe wins again! -
Oh, Joe. You didn't notice my botox, did you? -
Yay! Women's alliance! Those always work! Even minus Carolyn. -
I know, right? -
Whatever you do, don't mention botox at Tribal tonight. If Probst gets any more self-conscious, we'll have to start watching TAR, or something. -
Welcome, guys. It's come to my attention I'm older than each and every one of you. Even Dan. -
Don't be so hard on yourself, Jeff. I can barely see your dye job. Whoops. -
Thanks a lot, Tyler. Fine, back to the implants. Should I maybe just go with one, to test it out? -
Please. I know all about women. Don't go with less than three. -
Or, you know... maybe don't. -
Is there something wrong with two? -
Fine, we'll put it to a vote. That's what we do here. Vote for either Hali's or Dan's plan. -
I have totally got this. -
And the winner is: Two! I will soon be double-breasted! Yay! -
This is getting too weird, even for me. Count me out, Probst.
Jeff Pitman is the founder of the True Dork Times, and probably should find better things to write about than Survivor. So far he hasn't, though. He's also responsible for the Survivometer, calendar, boxscores, and contestant pages, so if you want to complain about those, do so in the comments, or on Bluesky: @truedorktimes