Episode 3: With bonus Fabio pee
Survivor 30: Worlds Apart Vidcap gallery
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This week: Jeff Probst looks at the Red Collars and says 'that doesn't look like anything to me' and calls them No Collars, so they lose, and the older woman who was being excluded by the young'ns gets more excluded and is voted out, the end.
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Nina: If you guys are just going to vote me out, let's get it over with. -
Okay! -
Well, that was quick. See you all next week. -
Not so fast, dude! There are monkeys up there, gettin' it ON! -
Are you sure we need to be in this show? There's a Korean game show shooting at the next beach. Let's go there instead. -
Hold on, you two! I'm not done tipping my cap to the great Jimmy Johnson yet! -
Hey! Hey! You guys! This monkey just found the neutral box! -
I am going to have to quietly disagree with that. -
We're all totally safe this episode! Why are you even wasting time filming us? -
Because this is the alternative, Carolyn! -
Bad news, guys. A freak wave in this pond took away my manties, jeans, shirt, AND swimsuit. I know, I can't explain it, either. -
Please tell me we can win some tarps or blankets today, Dan. -
As a cop, I let fights sort themselves out. Pretty sure Survivor works the same way. See you in 32 days. -
It's a game, you know. People take it too serious, and they shouldn't. -
Meanwhile, Joe tips his cap to the great Phillip Sheppard. -
Nina, I just want to say: Don't feel like we're leaving you out. Except in challenges. -
You guys are back again? I told you, nothing to see here, move along. -
Seriously. I can't believe I put on pants for this. -
Hey, look at me! I'm sitting on the Iron Throne! Off with their heads! -
Hey, uh, Tyler? I have something to show you. It's here in my pants... -
Why? Why do we have to keep being the naked tribe? Why? -
These guys claim all I do is yell at them for not working. Look! I'm playing invisible Mario Kart right now! -
What? Who's insulting my mother this time? -
You guys *know* I have the best work ethic, because I come out here and talk about it every 5 minutes with you. Seriously, why do you keep asking? -
Watch out, Rodney! A giant shoe is about to squash you! -
Whoops, no, it looks like it's Mike that's about to get the (giant) boot -
*THAT'S* the hashtag you give this sequence? -
Yeah, why not #godsbeard? Stop not thinking about us! -
Nice try, CBS, but that top tat is a crucifix, not a hashtag -
Oh look, such cute little 'Vs' signs! Which double as reminders for the contestants to not run past the water tower. -
We know food is scarce, Sierra. But it's not very nice to eat Mike's chin. -
Look, Shirin. We *just* told Sierra not to do that. -
Max responds by removing the pants covering his mouth -
Okay, guys. In this challenge, every woman gets reward! -
...unless your last name starts with a vowel. -
...or if you're wearing a blue buff. Whoops, sorry, forgot about you ladies. Again. We keep doing that. -
Good news, guys. The water we're using is from the pool Fabio peed in four years ago. Reduce, reuse, recycle! -
Oh don't be so dainty about it. It'll probably wash off in the ocean. That Dan pooped in. -
Not so fast, Nina. You have to at least stick around until you're voted out. -
We assume Probst yelled at White Collar for not having Carolyn and Shirin plugging holes here. -
And here. -
One more bucket of Fabio pee to go! -
Leapin' Lindseys! Blue Collar actually won something, rather than their standard slow, solid, unspectacular second place. -
Don't smoke it all in one sitting, bro. -
Eh, that's all right. Have one of your lackeys deliver it to camp, Probst. -
While I did say 'hands on hips,' I didn't say 'Simon sez,' you guys. You're all out. -
Nina, I'm sorry we left you out in the challenge. Now we're going to leave you out of the tribe. Sorry again. -
I'm sorry, what? I took my implants out, because I'm tired of listening to your excuses. -
The joke's on him. I left them in.... But I'm still totally screwed. -
Um, we're all looking away from you for a reason. -
Oh great. Ten seconds into Tribal Council, and one of those pranksters already gave Will the old 'hot buff' treatment -
I just wanna say: We should all get rid of Nina. -
Yup, let's get it over with. -
I like those odds. -
Look, we already know what's going to happen, and now there's a lightning flash. Can we just vote, already? -
*Sigh* Old people. -
Joe says 'ILY, Nina! That's why I'm excluding you from the tribe.' Seems legit.
Jeff Pitman is the founder of the True Dork Times, and probably should find better things to write about than Survivor. So far he hasn't, though. He's also responsible for the Survivometer, calendar, boxscores, and contestant pages, so if you want to complain about those, do so in the comments, or on Bluesky: @truedorktimes