Head wounds and Shambo - Jeff Pitman's Survivor: Worlds Apart Ep. 4 vidcap gallery

Episode 4: Head wounds and Shambo

By Jeff Pitman | Published: March 23, 2015

Survivor 30: Worlds Apart Vidcap gallery

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This week: Some woman foolishly doesn't get out of the way of Dan's platform, perhaps because she's blindfolded. Meanwhile, No Collar wins chickens, and with chickens come Shambo. Amen.

So the four of you are now going to build a fire that sustains your life through the rest of the game?
Oh, you caught that symbolism? If not, here, let me repeat it for in more explicit detail: Final four, baby.
All I wanted was a sandwich.
Bend over and pick it up yourself, dude. You're not the boss of me.
Whoa, I literally cut the head of the snake. Actually literally.
Hey guys! Bet you're wondering what's in here.
Duh, it's chickens, Probst. This is a direct copy of the Ep4 RC from Cagayan. Come on.
Duh, it's chickens, Probst. We can hear them clucking.
Is it sandwiches?
Surprise! It's chickens! And as a bonus, Shambo will come to your camp and pee next to the cage, should you win this.
Pass.
And they're off! White Collar is the only tribe not to figure out that the course is designed to provide male contestants with an endless series of shots to the balls.
Why is this platform whacking me in the face? That seems dangerous.
(Two hours later, long after the challenge ended...) Hey you guys! Be careful with those platforms! Someone could get hurt!
Umm... Max and Shirin, you guys should probably do a better job of hiding your alliance. Just because you can't see them, doesn't mean they can't see you.
No Collar, already with six of their four required items.
Dan: Look, I'm sorry you got whacked in the head, but you weren't holding up your end, and you should have done a better job of getting out of the way.
Why is my hand so wet?
Probst: Cen-ti-me-ter? What is that? Speak English, man!
Laughing at shots to the groin seems like such pre-Kelly-getting-a-head-wound thinking now
Yes, even when it's the one dude out there
You guys! I speared a giant apple with our flag! Woo!
Oh, so that's what the float on the flag is for: To prevent the Brains from getting J'Tiaed
Yay! Chickens with Shambo!
Max, Max. It's only funny if you include a shot to the groin in your pantomime.
So. That was worth it.
It's my birthday. Joe promised me a chicken cake. I can't wait.
No, no, that was the snake at the Blue Collar camp. Don't worry, Mike took care of it.
Oh, Joe. What a large... machete you have.
To be fair, the chicken was a deserter from the Night's Watch. This is the King's justice.
Hurry up and find the idol, Jenn. You're gonna miss Shambo.
There we go. Okay, Shambo time.
Seriously, Jenn. These are precious, Shamboriffic minutes that could obviously be better spent. Nobody gives a shit about idols.
Well, if Shambo's not going to actually show up, I can eat her portion.
Glad you're all patched up, Kelly. Now we can go back to ignoring you for the rest of the episode. Also, wash that shirt, or we'll have to start calling you Red Kelly.
Rodney: Two women has burned me before, but I'm willing to try again. How about it, ladies?
First off, ew. That's also my second reaction. And my third.
It's only a matter of time before they're Team Rodney
Also my fourth reaction!
Wait, they're talking about Rodney sex at the other camp? *whistles*
I haven't even met the guy, yet I find myself strangely intrigued
Can we get back to bashing Max yet? You need to start building the momentum for next episode.
Is everybody in that cult invisible? Did they all drown? I'm not following.
Challenge time, guys! This is totally different from the first immunity challenge, because we turned the ramp labels sideways.
See?
This is what every one of Joaquin's dreams look like
Probst: White Collar has gotta Pick It Up! Carolyn: I'm not an 'it,' Probst!
Balls. Holes. Heh.
Oh, Joe. Could you be any more like Malcolm? Do we have to start repeating Philippines challenges?
Hooray, another win, embers, etc.
Will: Yes! I didn't have to do the ball thing!
Max, tipping his hat to Cochran at Redemption Island
Hooray for not losing! Well, except you guys. Oh well.
Was Shambo's flight delayed? We're still waiting.
Well, at least there were fewer injuries this time.
Rodney is totally going home tonight. You can take my word for it, because I've never spoken before.
I have to go collect a ton of wood, so I'll leave the smooth talking to Dan.
You made the right choice! As it turns out, I'm an expert in the fairer sex!
I'm sorry we're voting you out. But you know, it's really your fault, mostly for not being a dude.
You guys, something about this pond water fills me with delusions of grandeur
You mean this? No, that's not it.
Ah, that's it.
Tom Brady spanks babies? Wow, bad year for the NFL.
Hi, I'm Kelly. You may remember me from my head wound earlier this episode.
Are you thinking he might not really be Tom Brady?
Wait, they're showing both of us? Talking? At the same time?
Don't give me the sunset dissolve! Don't give me the sunset dissolve! *Sigh*
Hey Probst! I'm Tom Brady. That makes you Bill Belichick, right? That explains all the cameras snooping on us in camp.
Where did you find this guy?
Boston, duh.
We're all blue collar, hard workin', flag-wavin' Americans, Jeff
Wake me when he stops
Okay, who did this?
Tom Brady?
Present!
Sigh.

Jeff Pitman's recaps Jeff Pitman is the founder of the True Dork Times, and probably should find better things to write about than Survivor. So far he hasn't, though. He's also responsible for the Survivometer, calendar, boxscores, and contestant pages, so if you want to complain about those, do so in the comments, or on Bluesky: @truedorktimes

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