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  Volume II, No. 4                             April, 2001
 Current issue: click here
Today's fun-filled, fact-free stories, brought to you by more than one of the not-so-good folks at Deathsuite:

Bush warns: 'Just do what Mr. Cheney says, or I'll be President'
In a tersely-worded statement directed at recalcitrant Congressional Democrats who have yet to swoon in response to his good-natured bucolic charms, President George W. Bush threatened the formerly unthinkable yesterday: taking the reins of governing.
Click here for the full story.

CAMPAIGN 2001
Trump enters race for papacy
Last year's aborted Presidential campaign is now a thing of the past, says maverick tycoon Donald Trump.  Today he's seeking a seat of greater, or one could say, higher, power:  The Donald wants to be The Pope.
Click here for the full story.

Physicians worried about increased rectal head-stuffing
Physicians at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) have noticed an alarming increase in recent years in the incidence of patients being treated for cranial-rectal insertion syndrome (CRIS), the condition of having one's head up one's ass.
Click here for the full story.
 

Star Trek fans riot at Paramount Studios, demand info on new show
The battle-weary Los Angeles Police Department threw in the towel late last night, admitting defeat in their attempts to quell rioting Star Trek fans laying siege to Paramount Studios.
Click here for the full story.

The Surviv-o-meter
Don't forget to check out our Surviv-o-meter , your portal to all info, rumors and odds "Survivor 2"-related.  Now vastly more popular than the rest of this site. Go figure.

Cranky Andy!
Our good friend Cranky Andy has been at it again, making lists of things. 
Click here.

ADVICE
Ask Seth!
Your one-stop Amish solutions super- center for all the problems plaguing you.  Click here.

The Rant Page
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Things Which Don't Suck (shiny, happy version)
and of course,
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Link
Today's super-duper True Dork Times-endorsed link: Weird dancing guy.  Strangely compelling.

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