Welcome to another season of Screaming at the Screen, the column in which I jot down my spontaneous real-time impressions as I watch every episode of Survivor. I’ll augment those impressions with the occasional historical recap when relevant, and I’ll offer my advice to this season’s players even though they played the game several months ago, and I’ve never played the game myself.

But of course, right now, I’m writing an intro a few hours before season 48 hits the airwaves. There’s nothing spontaneous in this paragraph. If you read my season preview column, you’ll know I’m thinking Bianca, Mary and Kamilla are the three most likely to end their Survivor journey tonight. One of them will be on the tribe that loses Immunity, and I think they’ll have the hardest time securing a majority alliance. That being said, watch one or all of them find an Idol. And of course, if one of them ends up winning, they’ll continue another recent trend of New Era winners.

There are only three players younger than 30 this season. One might think that would lead us to more conservative game play across the board. But I see enough unpredictable wild card players (Star, Shauhin, Mary) who could throw a monkeywrench into anyone’s best laid strategic plans. As we saw last season, it only took one wild card to trip up several players. Who is gonna be this season’s Andy? Let’s find out.

And away we go ....

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Hey, look at that! We’re getting videos of the cast finding out they’re gonna get to play. I like this season already! This reminds me of Survivor 44 which began with an on-site interviewer telling Carolyn how to do a confessional.

Joe gets the longest video and the first confessional. I still don’t think it means much to get the first confessional. Evvie (41), Jonathan (42), Ryan (43), Carson (44), Drew (45), Tevin (46), and Gabe (47) all got the first confessionals in the New Era, and none of them won. But they all made the merge, so I suppose that’s good for Joe.

The first thing we hear from Sai is “My lack of filter gets me in trouble.” That’s a pretty easy call that she won’t last long.

David: “I want to be the hero. I have no problem waving a giant sign that says ‘You need to worry about me.’” I’m guessing he’ll make the jury, but won’t come close to the fire contest.

Probst gives his camera greeting on a rock on the shore. I guess he got tired of being flown up to mountaintops.

Shauhin: “You look at the other tribes and it’s like ‘I’m gonna eat your lunch.’“ You know, that just doesn’t sound threatening to me. Couldn’t you come up with something better than that?

Last season, Probst kept babbling about “Community.” What will his forced theme this year?

It’s interesting that Probst went to Mitch for the first question. Mitch’s speech impediment doesn’t sound as bad here as it did in his preview videos.

Justin is wearing a “pizza” T-shirt.” He’s reducing his threat level right off the bat.

The tribe names represent the Sun (Civa, orange), the Moon (Vula, green) and the entire sky (Lagi, purple)? When will they name the tribes “Earth, Wind and Fire?” Survivor could use a good injection of old school funk.

In pregame, Firefighter Chrissy bragged that since she carries 65 pound packs on her back all the time, crawling under a net through mud would be easy. She was the last one out of the net.

Kevin tweaked his right shoulder while crawling. Will he be the 3rd to separate a shoulder during the game, following in the steps of Stephenie (Heroes vs Villains) and Tyson (Blood vs Water)?

Probst: “Lagi doing a nice job pulling Joe up.” Uhh, no Jeff. Joe pulled himself up. It looked like Cedrek had the toughest time getting up that ramp.

When Shauhin landed the last sandbag for Lagi, nobody from Civa and Vula were near their ramps. This tells me it took a long time for Lagi to land their sandbags. Everybody was tossing when they won it.

Vula and Civa have to send someone to try again for tribe supplies. I always say the same thing: “Don’t get on the boat.” Justin nudges Kevin into going. Smart move by Justin. Horrible move by Kevin who has already tweaked his shoulder. Kyle also loses out on a chance to join an early alliance.

Eva: “We got our begs.” Shauhin: “Our what?” I remember Carolyn from 44 said “begs” when she was talking about bags too.

Bianca is glad she got a day 1 partner, but does she know she needs 2 more for a majority?

There goes David committing Survivor sin #5 – bragging about his abilities. He does pull-ups then says “I can make fire with bamboo,” and “I don’t need a lot of water.” If he makes a fire, they could call him cocky. If he fails, they could call him delusional.

Stephanie knows it’s bad to give orders. Mary starts off by giving orders.

Sai to Justin and Cedrek: “Can we lock in this three?” And Sai starts off by being pushy about forming an alliance. The uncomfortable silence from Justin and Cedrek spoke volumes to me. Sai: “This is my season.” Yeah, she’s already sounding like a pre-merge boot.

Kyle finds his coconut, then sees Kevin chopping away at his. But he doesn’t make the connection that he’ll have to open his own coconut? That’s a bad sign for Kyle’s observational skills.

My first thought when I saw the hanging pot tied to a large bamboo pole was to use the machete to cut the ropes holding the pole up. Neither of them thought of that.

Kyle’s haste in pouring that water is killing his chances here. He breaks his jug, but he was smart to help Kevin finish his task. That could pay off at a merge or swap. However, there was nothing on the note that said they couldn’t break the jug. After all, they could retrieve their machete and pot “by any means necessary.” Did Kyle eliminate himself?

Mary: “Just because I make the first fire doesn’t mean they won’t vote me out.” You got that right, sister!

I don’t think any of these instant alliances will stay intact all the way to a merge.

David: “Kyle’s a sincere guy, but he’s no me.” Good lord, this guy is full of himself.

I’m with the tribe mates. What’s with all the animal symbols and letters around camp. I bet they lead to someone losing their vote.

Eva is very well aware of her strengths and weaknesses. That gives her a leg up on most Survivor players.

Joe: “I want people to say, ‘Joe is a good dude.’” Eva: “Joe is an amazing man.” This season’s Joe is already miles ahead of being a better dude than Joey Amazing.

Stephanie’s read on Sai as a no-nonsense, hard player is dead-on accurate. Mary: “Sai is gone away the longest.” That’s bad game play on her part.” Stephanie: “Lacking subtlety.” That’s one of my slogans! Yay Stephanie! Yeah, Sai is a textbook case of playing too hard, too fast.

The animal symbols for Lagi are all different colors, but the ones for Civa were all black. Wussupwitdat?

Justin is in the perfect position. He knows who has the Beware Advantage but doesn’t face the risk of losing his vote. Now Justin has the power to sell her out if he wants to.

Star grabs the Lagi target by disappearing. Did you see that turtle symbol on the path?

Katy Perry will like the “California Girls” alliance of Joe, Shauhin, and Thomas. Maybe she can hand out money to her favorite player since Sia has stopped doing it.

Eva is smart for coming clean to someone who seems as empathetic as Joe. But now the pressure is on Joe to keep her secret. Does he want a high maintenance partner? If he can handle it (and I think he can) this could be a rock solid partnership.

Yeah, I’m gonna refer to this guy as “The good Survivor Joe.” Joe Mena from HHH could be a jerk too.

Kyle: “Charity likes her steak well done. That’s a sign of a psychopath.” Yeah, I’m with you on that one.

Charity isn’t doing a good job of connecting with anyone yet. When you hear two people saying they like their steaks rare, you should say the same thing. You also don’t want anybody saying “She doesn’t talk to me.” Learn how to fake it, especially at the start of the game.

Kamilla is pushing too hard against Charity though. This could backfire. If she’ll do it to Charity so easily, she’ll do the same thing to them.

But Charity isn’t doing herself any favors by separating herself either. Suck it up and socialize!

Sai commits another Survivor sin and is telling everyone she found the Beware Advantage.

You’d think people would learn that the first Idol is rarely worth the effort required to find them. I bet she gets an Idol that’s only good for one Tribal Council.

Sai finds the Idol, and everybody knows it. But telling everyone about it gives them the chance to plan how to blindside her with it. Sai strikes me as the kind of player who’ll be overconfident and have no idea when others are plotting against her. But I was wrong about her idol. It’s good until the final 5.

We’ve seen every element of this Immunity Challenge before. The spotlight roles would be the mask smasher and the two puzzle people. The smart players stay out of the spotlight roles.

Wow, Charity looks like an entirely different person with her hair down. She doesn’t seem as cold and distant.

Kevin and his bad shoulder go to break the mask. Bad move. I might have pushed Justin or Cedrek into that role, but Kevin got it done quickly enough.

Stephanie had to be pulled out of the net tunnel, then she almost let her handle slip out as they were carrying their crate. Bad signs for her.

Vula had a bad plan for pulling their crate to the top. They had their two strongest guys pushing from the bottom, while the other tribes had their strongest pulling from the top. This decision could cost Vula the challenge. They were even with Civa when they got to the ramp.

Sai was screaming her lungs out while Kevin and Stephanie worked on the puzzle. She made me nervous. I’m sure it didn’t do much for the puzzle workers either.

Yeah, Charity knows she’s gonna be safe tonight.

Lagi blows everyone away on the puzzle, then Civa takes second place. I wondered if Mitch’s speech impediment would affect him during challenges. It doesn’t look like that was tested in this one.

Sai’s mistakes will be tested already. Will someone try to flip it on her and boot her with an Idol?

So, Survivor wants the fans to vote for which Producer twists will be in Survivor 50? Why do I feel like this will be treated like fan voting for the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, where the fan vote only counted for one-tenth of one percent? You can choose the tribe buff colors, Rice or no Rice, Firemaking and finale in Fiji or L.A. If Survivor fans vote to remove the final 4 fire making contest, what are the odds that Probst will care?

Stephanie commits Survivor sin #23 and apologizes for a challenge loss. It just creates a reason for people to target you, especially since they lost that challenge at the ramp.

And now, everyone is talking about her puzzle failure. In pregame, most of the players across several tribe all said they got good vibes about her.

And right on cue, Mary is targeting Sai. I figured Sai and Mary was a Survivor fight waiting to happen. I thought Justin and Stephanie would make the call between Sai and Mary, but It looks like Justin and Kevin will make the call between Sai and Stephanie.

Sai after grilling Justin for information: “That was a long water walk to not say anything.” Yeah, Sai is too confrontational to win this game or maintain trust long term. Kevin to Justin: “It’s not the worst thing if Sai gets voted out with the Idol.”

Sai: “I truly have agency and my game, and my game is good.” Yup, there’s that overconfidence.

I’m just never excited about seeing the new Tribal Council set. It was interesting when the game was in a different location every season.

Stephanie: “Usually, air signs are good at communication.” Nobody will ever accuse Sai of having a good poker face.

Sai: “I don’t get along with other air signs.” Sai is really bad at this game. Even if it doesn’t happen tonight, Sai is talking herself out of the game. All she’s doing is giving everyone a reason NOT to want to work with her. She’s telling everyone she’ll be difficult to work with because she only cares about her own opinion. She’s telling them they won’t be able to influence her vote.

Once again, when the two players on the block have a name that starts with the same letter, we see one person writing that letter down.

Stephanie is gone, and Mary knows she’s next.

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Recap

Well, so much for pregame first impressions. Six members of this cast (Joe, Thomas, Cedrek, Kevin, Mary and Kyle) all said they got good vibes from Stephanie in pregame. I thought that would buy her some early safety. Unfortunately, the one player who got bad vibes from her (Sai) is the one who got rid of her. Maybe finding that Idol did save Sai. In his voting confessional, Justin did say he might be making a mistake.

I suppose Sai could be a good shield for Justin, Kevin and Cedrek. She’s already shown she doesn’t have a strong social game. She’ll be so busy creating reasons to want her gone, others won’t be looking at them. But Sai is the kind of alliance partner who’ll blurt out something that will turn others against your alliance too. That will be a problem down the line.

What are your first episode impressions? Are Sai’s days already numbered? What should Mary do to adjust? What’s up with Kevin’s shoulder? Who is looking strong or weak on the other tribes? Has charity dug a hole too deep to get out of? Has Star already been too much of a loner? Let me know in the comments.