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Today's exciting headlines, brought to you by the not-so-good folks at Deathsuite: NEWS - Scientist cures cancer a record six times in one week - Democrats, Republicans switch platforms - Torch-wielding mob strikes victorious blow against "Frankenfood" SPORT - Baseball: Selig demotes Cubs' "stupid" manager, GM THE ARTS Now featuring: micro-short stories for the seriously attention-deficit impaired! - Wilbur - Yodel EDITORIAL The Rant Page! Coming soon! - Tokyo residents fear invasion of Dobba-ru, Son of Bush-ra! - FCC forces MTV to change its name Trudge your way through the archives. |