For five long years, US Survivor insisted that six-member tribes (or smaller) was the absolute apex of the game. "There's nowhere to hide!" Jeff Probst swore, repeatedly. "It's dangerous fun!"

Except that, for almost any fan actually watching, it wasn't that much fun. With a tribe of six, you just need four for a majority. Two pairs. Or in a pinch, three people and a non-voter (from a Shot in the Dark play, stupid journey taking a vote away, a Beware "advantage" penalty), which happened a lot more often than you'd like. On a six-person tribe, a trio is nearly unbeatable. Worst of all for the US show, at the same time Probst was insisting that tiny tribes were far more interesting, Australian Survivor was hitting its stride in AU: Titans v Rebels and AU: Brains v Brawn II , as starting tribes of 12 routinely produced chaotic, glorious fun, with initial plans falling apart when a counter-plan hatched, which then spurred an even more unlikely retaliation, all during a single pre-Tribal scramble, as groups of three or four or more re-sorted themselves.

So it's fantastic news that Jeff Probst and company finally paid off whatever mobster or oligarch (Tyler Perry? Dave Grohl?) who was forcing them to tank their own show, and went back to two large tribes again. Giving the people what they've been begging for, the season AFTER the one you called "In the Hands of the Fans"? It's a crazy gamble. But in Episode 3 of Survivor 51, that dice roll paid off perfectly.

We had: A guy who had tried to vote himself out (producer: "You can't do that") now trying to get himself medevaced for an imperceptible injury. There was also a mutiny. And a cocky five-person alliance on a suddenly 11-person tribe. Even your average Culpepper Mathematics Academy graduate can tell you that five into 11 is no good.

There was also a minority group of four "misfits" who were desperate to not be picked off. And all of a sudden, the two bro-ish new additions to the tribe, who had never voted with Toka before, were suddenly the belles of the ball. But wait, one of them is worried about pissing off those in power! Oh no! Which way will they go?

Because of the show's insistence on always-tiny-tribes since 2021, this sequence of events could never have happened in the new era, except maybe at the merge. Although the merge would have been just bringing together factions from different tribes (half of whom may also be immune), not nine people who have already been living together for a week plus two newcomers. The divisions here were more entrenched, more visceral, more tangible. Merge votes feature a bunch of people who've just met, and usually revert to the path of least resistance: "let's just choose the option that annoys the fewest people." This vote, in contrast, was about Lewis and Carter actually picking sides. They were mostly interested in breaking up the power five, but also didn't particularly want the Misfit Four to become all-powerful, either. This was actually interesting. It was fun! More of this, please.

Even Jeff Probst himself, the guy whose iron fist kept the starting tribe size capped at six people for nine consecutive seasons (Jeff Probst: "I had nothing to do with it!") marveled at the complexity of such a big vote in real time at Tribal: "...you could make the case you just need six, but finding six in a group of *11* is not as easy as it sounds on a game like Survivor!" This man speaks the truth. The showrunner should totally listen to that guy! The many moving parts of the new Toka tribe, including two people whose loyalty had never been tested by voting with them, actually resulted in "permanent uncertainty," at least up until the votes were read. Isn't that the goal?

(This is the point where we should mention that the preview shows next week we will have a swap to three tribes, with the reddish-/pink-buffed Dina tribe joining the other two.)

****Sigh****

Oh well, having actual Survivor back was fun while it lasted.

Ow, quit it

There's not a lot left to say about Rob's run on 51. He spent almost as much time playing the game as he spent trying to leave it. He's been a consummate troll in his exit press, pumping himself up as a supergenius who was the main character of the season, despite not voting anyone out and being completely unaware of Survivor basics like "You can't vote for yourself" and that you don't go home immediately after being voted out. My guess is he was able to find an idol on Day 3 undetected mainly because everyone else was relieved he wasn't in camp complaining about people's weight or who took on what role in challenges. "Where's Rob?" said nobody. (This would also explain why he was unaware of the votes heading Ana's way in Ep2.) Nobody else on Savu seemed all that broken up after he left, and nobody on Toka seemed to even react to his absence at the IC. Oh well.

Rob's asshattery aside, I'm otherwise inclined to be much more accepting of quits in modern Survivor. Sleeping outside in constant rain is indeed not fun, never has been. Combining that with the new era "no food" rule makes everything ethat much worse. But hey, if you push through and persevere, your could find your footing, gather the numbers you need, and absolutely be running the game. And then around Day 20, you could be forced to flip a coin, and when you call it incorrectly, you'll have to leave the game without a vote.

See, the difference is: If you're miserable for three weeks and then leave the game without being voted out - whether it's being yanked by Dr. Barry or flipping a coin - as long as you DON'T like it, that's amazing! The best thing ever! Whereas leaving the game when *you* choose is, quite frankly, terrible. You are a very very bad person. You should be shunned, driven from polite society. You can't *ever* get what you want. That's the beauty of Survivor.

The boys are back as clowns

Rob does fit nicely into what appears to be an overarching theme in this season's casting: Just about every man is a loud, overconfident, extremely self-unaware nincompoop. Devin is this, but in a much more fun, charming way. Brady is this, but in a vaguely unsettling, "this guy might snap and chop everyone's thumbs off" kind of way. Eric is also this, but in a much more sad way (see, for example, his victory speech at the top of the episode about his succeeding by opening himself up to everyone, when Ana became the target mainly because everyone else was willing to overlook their annoyance with Eric to target someone they thought was dangerous).

Even Carter sort of fits into this mold. He was confident in his alliance in the second episode, only for the tables to be flipped on them at Tribal. One of his two closest allies was voted out, the other quit the next morning. He then spectacularly failed upward for the rest of the episode, as he was given a free idol by the departing Rob, and he won a chance for a trip (at 1-in-8 odds) that also gave him the opportunity to mutiny. Once he reached Toka camp, his stated game plan imploded, as he foolishly left his bag unattended with the advantage clue on top, so the entire Toka tribe went looking for the advantage and found it. Then when he spent time looking for the advantage that had already been found, he "missed the boat" (allegedly), and got stuck on Toka. There, Lewis eagerly pulled him into a new alliance. Lewis wanted to target the power five, something Carter himself was highly reluctant to do. But he eventually agreed and succeeded despite himself!

While we've seen almost nothing of his approach to the game first-hand, Mike also took a hit, as Thien An mocked his gamebot-ish social/strategic efforts: "[robotic voice] So Thien An, tell me more about your game. Where is your your head at?" Thien An's lament continued: "I can't give you anything if you won't give me anything back! That's like trying to work with a sponge!" (More Thien An in the edit, please.)

Most of the other guys are poorer fits for this theme (so far). Ori seems fairly level-headed, and Lewis clearly has gamer potential. We haven't seen much from Cristian at all, but at least he's voted correctly, and while Kilby's overconfidence that Brady was with him (and Thien An) was a knock against his reads, he was at least an active participant in the episode's winning blindside.

Meanwhile, the women have generally been running things, even if some of the more competent ones (Patt) have been eliminated. Sharonda, Kristin, and Alexis have all been shown as calmly, quietly moving the chess pieces around, even if their one move so far came about because Linnea (also allegedly) mis-heard Carter and Ori talking about crabs. Maggie won the challenge for Toka in Ep2, was the voice of reason when Kilby was insisting Brady was with him, AND somehow talked Brady into giving her the extra vote. Jenna saved herself in the premiere, and Thien An was the architect of this episode's blindside. The only truly negative edit on the women's side has been Jelly's: Besotted by showmance possibilities with Ori on Day 1 (with a reprise next week, hooray); stated her main goal for the first boot was that it not be a woman, only for it to end up being her closest female ally; was overly confident that the Toka Five had the numbers here (they did not); and like Devin, is now 0-for-2 at Tribal. Still, the optimist would say: There's nowhere to go but up!

In summary, so far this season feels a lot like S24: One World all over again, except not with gendered tribes. Will it end up the same way, with an all-women Final Five? It's possible, but with the swap to three tribes coming next week, followed at some point by the no-longer-MrBeast coin toss, there's a whole lot of randomness on the horizon, so it's probably too early to say.

The tempestuous teapot of tepid takes

- "What I'm Smellin' Is Stinky" - The hidden genius of this as the episode title is that you can pretend it's actually about the Epic Saga of Rob's Extremely Injured Foot.

- CBS spoils the third tribe - Not only did one of the pre-season cast videos show *two* whale idols on the podium, and not only does the intro show the third tribe's flag in Alexis's challenge shot, but roughly a month ago, when the buffs were first released on the CBS/Paramount store, the URL for the Savu buff had the tribe name wrong. That heavily suggested there would be a third tribe named "Dina." So it was not all that surprising to see the camp sign behind Eric and Kilby in this week's preview. Nice work, CBS/Paramount! Also this week, the day before the episode aired, Paramount+ uploaded a secret scene that revealed Savu had won the IC and that Rob and Carter were no longer with them, AND the Tribal Council votes/final words. And all this was before they were bought by the Ellisons!

- Is Eric really a vampire, though? - Eric had a cute confessional about the camp visit trip, where he "pretended" to be a vampire, but as someone who enjoyed What We Do In the Shadows, I'm forced to ask: Could he be, though? He seems like he would fit right in there. Note that after he swoops in above, the guy he hugs gets visited by medical and leaves the game. And as we just saw above that shot, next week he's getting close to Kilby. Watch out, Kilby!