Volume III, Number 5
May, 2002
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Cranky Andy
Jittery Jeff
Things Which Don't Suck
Crappy's Bowl o' Flushing

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Hide the kids, lock up the dog, and plaster the walls with garbage bags, it's...

By Crappy the Smart-Assed Toilet
True Dork Times Mascot and Craven Attempt to Appeal to the Lowest Common Denominator

This month, the crap that clogs my pipes is...
ESPN.com's long, slow decline since being bought by MSN Okay, we'll look past our pet peeve that for some unknown reason, ESPN's Baseball Challenge fantasy game (gasp!) doesn't work with Netscape, and curiously requires Internet Explorer (a Microsoft product? But why?) to operate.  Our main beef is the scoreboard now takes ages to load, with no apparent increase in features.  Gosh, this doesn't remind anyone of a certain Washington-based software company, does it?
Kylie Minogue still inexplicably recording music Yeah, we know that British and Australians, who have even worse taste than MTV viewers, have been suffering through her career for years, but she's been kept off of these shores ever since we heard her warble "The Locomotion" in the mid-80's.  Please, take her back.
The Chicago Cubs seem shocked by their poor start  Well, duh!  Guess Oscar Acosta wasn't the problem after all, huh?  Looks like signing another broken-down free agent (Alou) didn't work out this year, either (Hundley), huh?  Dumbasses.  Bring on Mark Prior.
Thinking back to the halcyon days when the biggest problem was that Clinton didn't have a coherent foreign policy, and the military was overextended overseas Memories....
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