By Hugh Will Dewitt
True Dork Times Obedience Editor

Television pundits were quick to lambaste the show's "high concept" description as bearing a striking resemblance to a similarly-titled FOX show starring former Conan O'Brien co-host Andy Richter.  ABC denied the copy-cat accusations, however, stating emphatically, "This show is completely original.  Besides, we only copy British shows."

An ABC press release went on to highlight the unique features of the show, the most compelling of which is "the effervescent, bubbly enthusiasm of its star.  It's literally impossible to watch this man on TV for more than five minutes without wetting your pants in a fit of uncontrollable laughter."

Indeed, as the centerpiece of the program, the doughy Bush administration official will have ample opportunity to demonstrate his various entertainment talents, from edgy comedy to his highly-praised singing.  In the pilot, hilarity ensues as Ashcroft imagines a conversation between himself and his organizational hero, Sergeant Joe Friday.  Friday firmly suggests Ashcroft would look more professional wearing a handkerchief in his suit coat pocket, to which Ashcroft replies, "Yes, sir!"  Both men then go about their business of shuffling papers.

Similar scenes of dry mirth can be found throughout the first few episodes, in which Ashcroft imagines himself approaching his dream object, the American flag, and, tongue-tied, ends up saluting it for twenty minutes.  Another subplot features Ashcroft interacting with his coworkers, several of whom misfortunately express political opinions different from his.  In a touch of witty verisimilitude, he contacts the authorities to have them all imprisoned as "terrorists."

ABC will give the sitcom a midsummer trial run of twelve episodes, allowing it to find an audience amid the relatively unchallenging competition of other networks' reruns.  Not that the network feels such moves are necessary. "By the end of the summer, everyone in America will love John Ashcroft.  Or else."