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Baseball
players, owners will present trophy to long-suffering fans
Says Commissioner Bud Selig, 'they're "Number One" in our hearts.' By Felice D'Public
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 NEW
YORK, NY (TDT). In a move intended to quell rising fan anxiety about
continued baseball labor strife, the sport's players and owners have agreed
to present a year-end award to the fans of the team that finishes last.
The cast-bronze trophy features a hand with the middle finger extended
skyward. Commissioner Bud Selig explained, "This tells even our least-satisfied
fans that they're 'Number One' in our hearts."The award will follow the many goodwill gestures that the game of baseball has lavished on fans in recent years. These include the establishment of the Ted Williams Award, which commemorates on of the games' greatest hitters, and is awarded to the MVP of the summer All-Star Game. After forcing fans to endure a lengthy introduction of the award in the 2002 game, Commissioner Selig quickly decided against presenting one in its first year, terminating the game in an eleven-inning tie. Commissioner Selig has also used his broad, sweeping powers to foster fan appreciation for the game by portraying the players as greedy, drug-soaked, self-serving weasels. Add to that two labor impasses, rampant steroid use, and a perceived inability of the controlling powers to solve a blatant competitive imbalance, and fans have begun to feel the need for more recognition from baseball brass. With this simple gesture, Selig explained, "We're showing the fans how we really feel about them. I know it's tough rooting for a team, year after year, that has no chance of winning. Like, say, the Brewers. And I can't increase their chances of winning by just getting rid of better teams like the Expos and Twins, at least not every year! So baseball fans, this one's for you!" While the annual trophy has yet to be officially named, the commissioner has brushed aside enthusiastic fan support for the suggestion that in be named the "Selig Award," in his honor. He noted also that baseball's post-seasonal awards all commemorate people that have passed away, about which he noted dryly, "Trust me, baseball will be dead long before I am." One unfortunate possibility is that, if a strike cancels the end of the baseball season, the trophy might go unclaimed in its inaugural season. Selig admits this is a worry, but wants to assure fans that contingency plans are being discussed. "It's possible we might just show a picture of the trophy to the fans of every team. I think they'll get the message abotu how much we care." |
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