|
Having
Celine Dion's ugly face, nails-on-chalkboard voice, and irritating
kid foisted upon you during a commercial break
|
Reasons
number 4537, 4538 and 4539 never to buy anything made by Chrysler. |
 |
Okay,
nu metal now officially sucks ten times more than hair metal
ever did. That didn't
take long.
(A less-talented Linkin Park clone + a singer who sounds like
Tori Amos passing a kidney stone = sheer brilliance! What's
next? A Linkin Park clone fronted by a flatulent monkey? If
so, we want royalties, dammit!)
|
| FCC
Republicans decide the airwaves don't yet suck enough, and allow
even more monopolistic mass-ownership of radio and TV |
Apparently
Clear Channel needed some government assistance to buy the last
remaining independent station in the country. Guess those campaign
contributions paid off after all. |
| Interleague
baseball! |
Woo-hoo!
In the meantime, we're patiently waiting for the Toronto Blue
Jays to start re-running those "Baseball Fever.. Catch
It!" commercials.
|
Aging
ex-hippies who pop human growth hormone pills to feel young again
|
We're
guessing they're probably the same idiots who were complaining
about bovine growth hormone in their milk a few years back.
|
| Being
unable to tell extremely similar things apart: |
vs. 
One of the two may barely avoid direct-to-video this summer. We
can't remember which. |
