Ryan Kaiser

Ryan KaiserRyan Kaiser has been a lifelong fan of Survivor since the show first aired during his days in elementary school, and he plans to one day put his money where his mouth is by competing in the greatest game on Earth.  Until that day comes, however, he'll stick to running his mouth here and on Twitter.

 

His column, "Kaiser Island," previously appeared at Survivor Talk w/ D&D, covering seasons 33-35. He first appeared here at the True Dork Times in 2018, in the pre-season coverage of season 36, Survivor: Ghost Island.

 

Follow him on twitter: @Ryan__Kaiser

Kaiser Island - Ryan Kaiser's recaps

 

Columns by Survivor season:

 


  • S36 logo Survivor 36: Ghost Island (click to expand/collapse)
    Kaiser Island

    Episode 14: There's only one winner

    Published: May 26, 2018

     

    Ryan looks back at the highlights of Ghost Island's finale and season, from the challenges to the champion(s) to the curses. He also crowns several winners of various prizes, even though the show (quite dramatically) had just one.


    Pre-Episode 14: Jury Jeopardy - S36

    Published: May 21, 2018

     

    The True Dork Times writers assemble once more to project the jury votes, while doing battle with scribes from other Survivor sites: InsideSurvivor, A Tribe of One, Purple Rock Podcast, and the RHAP bloggers. Who can boast the most votes noted for Ghost Island?


    Episode 13: Going kamikaze

    Published: May 17, 2018

     

    Ryan revisits all the big moves of Episode 13, and somehow still has time to mourn Kellyn, have visitations from Ghost Angela, pirate Sebastian, and crazy Donathan, while still spending half the episode with the obvious winner.


    Episode 12: Go big or go home, girl

    Published: May 11, 2018

     

    Ryan reminds us that as the oozing Malolo orange lava of the Ghost Island pre-merge petrifies into Lavita black rock, only Aunt Patty can shake things up and make them interesting again.


    Episode 11: Luck of the draw

    Published: May 4, 2018

     

    Like Probst, Ryan has very few questions about this largely snooze-inducing episode, but stay (Naviti) strong, there are real fakes, slaps, and sleeping to be had as he recaps the double Michelle Yi-ing.


    Episode 10: The goats are coming together

    Published: April 29, 2018

     

    Formerly live from Boston, Ryan retraces all the curses reversed, Doms hmmmed, Tribals lit, helicopter highs, and (surprisingly few) Malolo lows of Ghost Island, Episode 10.


    Episode 9: Seize the moment

    Published: April 19, 2018

     

    It's Episode 9 of Ghost Island: Peel your eyeballs away from the tacos and margaritas and towards Ryan's tale of guts, slugs, tongues, gags, and Game Changing power plays that would impress even Survivor's new marine biology expert. Stick around, something or somebody might get played.


    Episode 8: This is a showdown

    Published: April 11, 2018

     

    Survivor rolls out a rollicking merge episode that brings together 13 people who are content to make the episode entirely about Chris and Domenick. How does Ryan work in three Survivors who aren't actually in the episode? Through the magic of recapping.


    Episode 7: Nasty son of a bitch

    Published: April 7, 2018

     

    As Ghost Island's pre-merge ends in Episode 7, Ryan tries his best to cope with the sudden loss of Bradley's bitching. Luckily, items have been maturing over the last decade to ease various people's pain. Sadly, none are the Immunity Willard.


    Episode 6: Dealt some bad hands

    Published: March 29, 2018

     

    After six episodes of searching, Ryan finally finds his Wanner wannabe, and it was good. Better, at least, than the luck of the Malolos, the fortunes of various blindfolded women, and the ghosts of Ghost Island, who were forced to find new... accommodations.


    Episode 5: Soak in the strength

    Published: March 23, 2018

     

    Ryan describes both his deep appreciation for and simultaneously being crushed by Ghost Island Episode 5, an episode that dispensed with twists and gimmicks to focus on the characters and their various motivations for playing.


    Episode 4: The leader never wins

    Published: March 16, 2018

     

    Ryan winds his way through the many impediments of Episode 4 of Ghost Island, from wandering wolves to spooked Kellyns to PB & J that is mostly neither PB nor J, but bread. Oh, and cursed immunity balls.


    Episode 3: A broken family

    Published: March 9, 2018

     

    Ryan recounts the twisting of the two happy Ghost Island families into two newly dysfunctional families, one of which has someone extremely averse to dirt. But help and/or Laffy Taffy are on the way, more or less. Or lies. Yes, lies are on the way.


    Episodes 1-2: Walking truly into the unknown

    Published: March 3, 2018

     

    Ryan recaps the highs and lows, the sighs and 'fros, of Survivor: Ghost Island's first two episodes. Who were the players of the week? Who was terrible, but great TV? Who were the true ghosts?


    Pre-season: TDT Ghost Island contestant draft

    Published: February 22, 2018

     

    The True Dork Times writers (Andy Baker, Ben Martell, Dan Otsuki, Pat Ferrucci, Ryan Kaiser, and Jeff Pitman) assemble to draft fantasy teams of Ghost Island contestants, in an attempt to seize eternal* glory by having the team containing the winner. Unless one of the two undrafted players (Team Ghost) win, in which case everyone loses. (*Or until Fall of 2018, whichever comes first.)


    Pre-season: Ghost Island cast assessment

    Published: February 14, 2018

     

    Ryan Kaiser evaluates the new contestants of Survivor: Ghost Island and assesses their chances of success. Who will be first out? Who will win? Who will come in somewhere in between?


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