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  Volume II, No. 5                                        May, 2001

  Next issue: June 1, 2001

Today's fun-filled, fact-free stories, brought to you by more than one of the not-so-good folks at Deathsuite:

Dot com crisis continues to deepen
As the spectacular decline of the NASDAQ market nears its one-year anniversary, Silicon Valley executives are muttering privately that the technology sector has yet to see its darkest days.  Having long since abandoned the legions of fanciful web-based startup companies that crested in 2000, jittery investors are now focusing their ire on the backbone of the cyber industry: the hardware and software manufacturers that power the world's computers.
Click here for the full story.

French anticipate record-setting booger harvest this year
Preparations are underway to harvest what experts predict will be a bumper crop of one of the country's most expensive exports. The hot new ingredient sparking worldwide culinary interest is: boogers.
Click here for the full story.

Yanks trade Clinton to Reds for spy plane, cash, and player to be named 
Following weeks of back-and-forth negotiations, President George W. Bush officially approved a mammoth trade with China, sending former President Bill Clinton to Beijing in exchange for a downed U.S. spy plane, $3 million in cash, and a player to be named later.  At a White House press conference to mark the official signing of the deal, Bush remarked, "I hope this doesn't come back to bite me like the Sammy Sosa deal." 
Click here for the full story.
 

Parker, Stone cast "South Park: The Broadway Musical"
Overjoyed by the spectacular critical success of their live action ventures "Orgazmo" and That's My Bush!, Trey Parker and Matt Stone are set to wow Broadway with the all-singing, all-dancing "South Park: The Broadway Musical."
Click here for the full story.
 

Cranky Andy!
You know him, you love him. Cranky Andy's compendium of lists of things continues to expand. Click here.

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