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Hide
the kids, lock up the dog, and plaster the walls with garbage bags,
it's...
By
Crappy the Smart-Assed Toilet
True
Dork Times Mascot and Craven Attempt to Appeal to the Lowest Common
Denominator
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This
month, the crap that clogs my pipes is: General crap
Al
Franken launches the liberal Air America radio network
 
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 Yeah,
we get it, we get it. Talk radio is completely the domain of
right-wing demagogues like Hannity and Limbaugh, and liberals
need to fight back. Fine. And while Franken's continued efforts
to bait Bill O'Reilly are highly entertaining in and of themselves,
are they really
enough to fill hours of
airspace
daily?
Not to mention that one of the net's anchors,
Randi Rhodes, is an ample demonstration that left-wing talking
heads can be just as idiotic and unlistenable as the Rushes of
the world. For example, shouting down Ralph Nader over and over,
until he eventually hangs up, in a phone "interview."
Now, we think Nader's a self-aggrandizing mediawhore as much as
the next person does, but what did this retarded stunt accomplish,
exactly? Increasing the decibel level of your point doesn't make
it any more valid.
And who was the marketing genius who came
up with the name, Air America? We can think of about five amusing
variations on that, just off the top of our heads. |
People,
some of them apparently with functioning brain cells, are
still watching American Idol
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Now,
keep in mind, our viewing of this drivel has been limited
to their painful montages of the night's events as we impatiently
wait for 24 to start. But really, that's way more
than enough. Really,
why would anyone willingly sit through more than two seconds
of Jon Peter Lewis or John Stevens mumbling their comatose
way, sometimes off-key, through the hits of Elton John? Even
their family members
probably need to be physically restrained for that, not to
mention having their eyelids forcibly opened, A Clockwork
Orange-style. Between this crap and Fox News, Rupert
Murdoch is creating a nation of sheep. Sheep, we tell you!
And as we close, someone really oughta take a stick and knock
that Seacrest, Out.
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Every
baseball pundit is picking the Cubs or the Red Sox this
year
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Well,
okay, we can see the Red Sox. But while it's all well and good
the Cubs got a shiny, factory-refurbished Greg Maddux to add
to their staff, they still don't have any hitters, except
on the days Kerry Wood
pitches. |
Mark
Burnett is now producing every show on network TV
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 Come
on, weren't two seasons of Survivor each year punishment
enough? Oh well, at least this must mean the end is near. Or
at least the backlash. One of the two.
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Freaks
and Geeks is out on DVD
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Where
have you gone, Judd Apatow? Oh yeah, probably competing
on a Burnett show.
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