Welcome to the True Dork Times'
Clearinghouse of 
Survivor: Africa "Humor"
Okay, yeah, these all kinda suck. We'll try harder in the future, really.

Feel free to drop by our other Survivor stuff:

Survivometer
Survivor cast info, boot odds. Try S3, S4, S5, S6.

 Calendars
All the crap that happened in S4, S5, S6.		 Survivor humor
Note: Your mileage may vary. S2, S3 or S4.

Spoilers
View our smattering of info here. S3, S4, S5, S6.

Episode recaps
To help dredge up the pain. S3, S4, S5, S6.

 Survivor
Click here to see coverage of all other seasons.

If there's one thing we love about Survivor, it's that it's so easy to ridicule.  Thanks, Mark!  In our short time, the True Dork Times has accumulated a reasonably-sized pile of Survivor-related items that we sat around, cracking ourselves up over.  Of course, our standards are low, your mileage may vary.  Perhaps unsettlingly, we foresee a future in which more of the same kind of crap is likely to pile up here.  So wade on through these brackish waters, and see what happens to be floating by today.  The most recent stuff is more likely to be upstream, so tread carefully.

NOTE: If you believe any of this stuff to be true, you have bigger problems than we can solve here. It's fake. Deal with it.

CONTENTS (Dated for freshness! Although they may have been none too fresh when created).

Survivor: Africa - Page One
(December 5, 2001) Incredibly exciting uses for incredibly exciting and useful Survivor Buffs (TM)
(November 12, 2001) Just in time for Christmas!  The new Survivor: Africa "Watch Me Bruise" Lindsey doll!
(November 7, 2001) Now in paperback! 100 Top Secrets of Effective Persuasion, by Silas Gaither

Survivor: Africa - Page Two
(November 3, 2001) Chef Brandon's International Home o' Flapjacks!
(October 21, 2001) Introducing: The world's most effective security system
(October 12, 2001) First Survivor 3 endorsement deal: "Clarence's Black Beans"
(September 9, 2001)  CBS reveals "daring, original" Survivor: Africa cast

See also:
Survivor: The Australian Outback
Survivor: Marquesas

Incredibly exciting uses for incredibly exciting and useful Survivor Buffs (TM)

Eiffel Tower cozy.
Compost pile coaster.
Back-up O-ring.

Tank camouflage for covert ops.
Crips magnet.
Toilet brush protector!
(Our personal favorite).

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Just in time for Christmas! 
The new Survivor: Africa "Watch Me Bruise" Lindsey doll!

Your little tyke is sure to thrill at the sight, sounds and stains of Survivor: Africa "Watch Me Bruise" Lindsey!  This is the doll with it all, featuring:

- Lifelike sounds , including "I'd rather die than take this pain," and "God, I hate this game."
- Real tears!  Sophisticated computers control salty tears, which flow at the first sound of stress in your voice.  You'll swear they're real!
- A self-guided activity clock.  Want to play with "Watch Me Bruise" Lindsey before noon?  Too bad!  This doll can tell the time of day, and she's not getting up early for anyone!

And best of all, "Watch Me Bruise" Lindsey produces actual bruises at the slightest touch!  Recreate the cuts, scrapes and crunches of exhausting immunity challenges in the comfort of your own home, without breaking a sweat!

Catalog No. WMBL72501

Ages 6 and up.  26 size D Batteries sold separately.  Allow 6-8 weeks for shipping.
Order now!


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Now in paperback!
100 Top Secrets of Effective Persuasion, by Silas Gaither

Don't miss this exclusive opportunity to peek inside the steel-trap mind of one of America's most skilled negotiators!  This book will be available only for a short time, so be sure to pick up an extra copy or two, just in case!

Inside, you'll be treated to detailed discussions of these and many other sure-fire methods of artful convincing:

"No, there's nothing in it for you
"Aw, come on, just do it, please?
and the always popular,
"Hey, why not?

Quantities are extremely limited.  Reserve your copy today!
 

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