| NASA
caves, then trains Lance Bass for space |
Yes,
this may cause teenage girls to swoon at the sight of the NASA
logo, but last time I checked, they don't control the agency's
funding, not even indirectly. Not that it helped much when they
tried the direct approach with John Glenn. Apparently, this is
what passes for "innovation" 33 years after the moon
landing. |
| "Guns
'n' Roses" close the MTV Video Music Awards with a "surprise"
performance |
I'm not sure what was worse: seeing some fat old man in a red
braided wig, staring into space while trying unsuccessfully to
remember the notes and words to "Welcome to the Jungle,"
(surrounded by a bunch of hired hacks); or the incredibly transparent
acting of Kurt Loder et al., when ordered by the network to show
both surprise and delight in this spectacle. Get over your irrelevant
self, Axl. About the only resemblance to the real GNR was RustyAxl's
repeated pathetic attempts at "dancing." |
| Jimmy
Fallon |
You
may want ot dial it back just a wee bit on the crack there, buddy. |
| "Can
you hear me now?... Good." |
Dammit,
where are those anvils falling out of midair when you need them? |
| CBS's
"The Real Beverly Hillbillies" |
Taking
real yokels, planting them in a luxurious house in L.A., then
filming the proceedings? Were they unaware they were already airing
Big Brother 3? Oh wait, that's just Amy. |
| As
seen on TV: Q-Ray |
For
the low, low price of only $150 plus shipping and handling, you
can have your very own crappy metal bracelet! But wait, there's
more! It's ionized! It heals all pain, even though FDA regulations
strictly forbid making such bogus claims. Is Kenneth Lay involved
with this company in some way? |
| Bush
finds an excuse to chop down the National Forests |
Must
be due to his weird, inexplicable, lifelong feelings of inferiority
when in the presence of trees. |
| Old
Navy's "Rugby Bunch" ad campaign |
Another
month, another reason to despise Old Navy. Let's break this down:
(1) One ad shows rugby shirt-clad models playing basketball. Apparently,
the advertising firm didn't take the time to figure out that rugby
is also a sport.
(2) The Brady Bunch's nine-face grid is the most-parodied
image known to man. And each time someone else does it, it becomes
even less humorous.
(3) Morgan Fairchild is neither camp nor kitschy. She is a dull,
lifeless second-tier demi-celebrity of the vacuous eighties, as
plastic and hollow as her face appears to be today. It's shocking
she doesn't have her own reality show yet. |
