Meet the staff of the True Dork Times!

Meet the staff of the True Dork Times!
In honor of our anniversary, we're dropping our guard, and giving you a sneak peek at our inner workings

By the True Dork Times staff
Underpaid journalism professionals

TDT HEADQUARTERS, somewhere in the U.S. (TDT).
Thanks for coming! Please feel free to sample our complimentary Cabernet Sauvignon and stinky Morbier cheese.
No flash pictures, please, and stay inside the yellow lines you see on the floor. Here's a look at the people who keep this ship afloat.

TDT,
Editor in chief We're not saying how we snagged TDT away from his other jobs (let's just say he's a very, very busy guy), but we're glad we did. With a rapier wit, and a heart of gold, er, aluminum, he runs a tight ship. How did we get so lucky?

Rhett came to us after spending several years as a spokesman for a large tobacco company. This gave him extensive experience analyzing the subtle variations in the English language that imbue each word with specific, context-dependent meanings. Now he spends most of his time making fun of animal rights groups and right-wing Presidents. His hobbies include competitive yodeling and collecting McDonald's Happy Meal figures.
Rhett Oracle,
Philosophy Editor

Hedda Perasse,
Staff Writer, CRIS specialist A recent hire, Hedda has extensive experience in the field of medicine, having received an M.D.-Ph.D. from Johns Hopkins University in the early 1990s. She then dedicated the next eight years to investigating Cranial-Rectal Insertion Syndrome (CRIS). Her first article for us brought this tragic disease to national attention. A tireless worker, we expect many more great articles from her in the future.

Although you might not guess it from the flashy clothes and ebullient personality he displays today, Yah was once a devout Buddhist monk. For twenty years of his life, he subsisted on a simple diet in a remote Tibetan hermitage, contemplating the many paths that lead to divinity. While he has eschewed his previously spartan ways, he still finds time to think deeply about religions, particularly new ones. He's also a pretty good cook.
Yah Wei,
Religion Editor

Colm Pewter,
Technology Editor Colm was once CEO of three separate dot-coms, all of which have long since been completely incinerated as they crashed to Earth, just like Skylab. Today, he is reduced to sharing stories of the technology industry with the tens of loyal readers who check this magazine each month.

After a brief foray into hairdressing, which he would "rather not discuss," Fabio got his big break performing in an off-Broadway musical. "Musical theatre has always been my lifelong dream," he tells us. Today, after a tragic knee injury ended his performing career, he has crossed the pit, and now supports himself solely as a reviewer. He is a natty dresser, and quite fastidious about his appearance. Should this gig get panned, "floral arrangements are always an option," he tells us.
Fabio Luss,
Theatre Editor

Back to the True Dork Times

TDT, Editor in chief	We're not saying how we snagged TDT away from his other jobs (let's just say he's a very, very busy guy), but we're glad we did. With a rapier wit, and a heart of gold, er, aluminum, he runs a tight ship. How did we get so lucky?
Rhett came to us after spending several years as a spokesman for a large tobacco company. This gave him extensive experience analyzing the subtle variations in the English language that imbue each word with specific, context-dependent meanings. Now he spends most of his time making fun of animal rights groups and right-wing Presidents. His hobbies include competitive yodeling and collecting McDonald's Happy Meal figures.		Rhett Oracle, Philosophy Editor
Hedda Perasse, Staff Writer, CRIS specialist	A recent hire, Hedda has extensive experience in the field of medicine, having received an M.D.-Ph.D. from Johns Hopkins University in the early 1990s. She then dedicated the next eight years to investigating Cranial-Rectal Insertion Syndrome (CRIS). Her first article for us brought this tragic disease to national attention. A tireless worker, we expect many more great articles from her in the future.
Although you might not guess it from the flashy clothes and ebullient personality he displays today, Yah was once a devout Buddhist monk. For twenty years of his life, he subsisted on a simple diet in a remote Tibetan hermitage, contemplating the many paths that lead to divinity. While he has eschewed his previously spartan ways, he still finds time to think deeply about religions, particularly new ones. He's also a pretty good cook.		Yah Wei, Religion Editor
Colm Pewter, Technology Editor	Colm was once CEO of three separate dot-coms, all of which have long since been completely incinerated as they crashed to Earth, just like Skylab. Today, he is reduced to sharing stories of the technology industry with the tens of loyal readers who check this magazine each month.
After a brief foray into hairdressing, which he would "rather not discuss," Fabio got his big break performing in an off-Broadway musical. "Musical theatre has always been my lifelong dream," he tells us. Today, after a tragic knee injury ended his performing career, he has crossed the pit, and now supports himself solely as a reviewer. He is a natty dresser, and quite fastidious about his appearance. Should this gig get panned, "floral arrangements are always an option," he tells us.		Fabio Luss, Theatre Editor