Pollywood - where actors turn right-wing politician

We get to the bottom of this important question:
The GOP vs. Hollywood: Where's the beef?

By Rhett Oracle
True Dork Times Philosophy Editor

Editor's note: This feature is a part of our extended, fun-filled series, "Making fun of celebrities!" And if there's one type of person even more deserving of derision than celebrities, it's celebrities-turned-politicians. So we turned our attention to actors who have gone on to national political office. What we found was, despite the finger pointing and mock outrage Republican mouthpieces throw Hollywood's way, it's actually one of their brightest hotbeds of political "talent." So we wondered, just what is the GOP's beef with Hollywood? Sure, after unions, that's where the Democrats get the majority of their soft money, but we think it's an elaborate scam, intended to corner the market on the celebrity talent pool for the right wingers. If all actors are derided as soft-headed liberal nutcases, any Repbulican actor who runs for office must be some sort of maverick free-thinker, right? Never mind that they look good on camera, read the cue cards containing the party platform like consummate pros, and have the bank accounts and Q factors to win easily - they must just be good folks. Pretty clever, once you think about it. Anyway, here's our look at the acting political ranks. What we see is, you don't have to be bright, nor do you have to be a particularly good actor to be a successful pol. But you do have to be a Republican.

The Politicos Acting/ other career Political career

Ronald Reagan (R)
Actor
Former California governor
Former U.S. President. Famous supporting actor in chimp film Bedtime for Bonzo. Served as President of Screen Actor's Guild, where he joined up with other forward thinkers, such as Charlton Heston. Together, they ratted out fellow actors who had even slightly left-leaning thoughts during the McCarthy-led Red Scare. Demonstrated GOP's commitment to family values by divorcing his first wife, and picking up another nubile young actress. Governor of California, ran for President once in the seventies and lost big.
Made triumphant national return in 1980, soundly defeating hapless Jimmy Carter. Went on to spend eight years napping through Cabinet meetings, joking about bombing the Soviets, selling arms to Iran, and conveniently forgetting everything he saw.

Fred Grandy (R)
Actor
Former U.S. Representative, Iowa He played Gopher on The Love Boat - what could top that? Graduated magna cum laude from Harvard in 1970 (!?!) Served as CEO of Goodwill (!?!)
Like every former Congressperson, now a lobbyist.
The G.O.P.'s secret shame. Espoused moderate views on gay rights, and clearly values charities.
This may explain why he left Congress as the current crop of knee-jerk zealots took over in 1994.

Fred Thompson (R)
Actor
Incumbent U.S.Senator, Tennessee Has made a career as "that one guy in that movie." Character actor appearances in numerous movies and TV series, ranging from "Curly Sue" to "Baby's Day Out" to Matlock. Sweet. Wields considerable clout in the Senate's Finance and Government Affairs committees. Apart from a pro-immigrant position and no opinion on school prayer, pretty by-the-book extreme right wing positions on almost every issue. Noted anti-Clinton crusader.

Sonny Bono (R)
Singer/ actor
Former mayor of Palm Springs
Former U.S. Representative, California Vaguely hippie icon of the late sixties, early seventies. Starred with then-wife Cher in the Sonny and Cher Show. Put out a voluminous number of albums, but in later years, spent all his time singing "I Got You Babe." Hopelessly addicted to painkillers, killed himself by crashing into a tree while skiing Despite his image as a pot-smoking hippie, and his own addiction to drugs, took the enlightened position that all other people addicted to drugs should be punished to the fullest extent of the law. As mayor of Palm Springs, needed cue cards to remember the pledge of Allegiance.

Michael Skupin (R)
Survivor 2 castmember
Contemplated U.S. Senate bid from Michigan Software publisher, hunter, and now "motivational speaker." Yes, you too can learn how to turn your life around after passing out and falling face-first into a fire. None so far, although he did use a group prayer as an opportunity to annoint himself leader of the Kucha tribe. Other tribesmates were less than amused.

Arnold Schwarzenegger (R)
Actor/ bodybuilder
Rumored to be considering California governor bid Married Kennedy clanswoman Maria Shriver, so if he does run, may have an excuse to escape all those pesky get-togethers with the in-laws. Likes his Hummers. Archetype for Rainier Wolfcastle on The Simpsons ("Upon closer inspection, these are loafers.") None yet, apart from appearing onstage with every GOP candidate who asks him to do so. Sadly, his Austrian birth precludes him from a Presidential run.

Warren Beatty (D)
Actor
Considered U.S. Presidential run in 2000 Played (duh) a Presidential candidate in Bulworth. Surprising number of leading-man roles still fall his way, despite being close to Reagan in age. Notorious womanizer, linked romantically (at some point) to almost every actress in Hollywood. Except, of course, former VJ Kennedy from MTV. We searched long and hard for a Democrat who actually ran for office. This is the closest we could get.

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The Politicos	Acting/ other career	Political career
Ronald Reagan (R) Actor Former California governor Former U.S. President.	Famous supporting actor in chimp film Bedtime for Bonzo. Served as President of Screen Actor's Guild, where he joined up with other forward thinkers, such as Charlton Heston. Together, they ratted out fellow actors who had even slightly left-leaning thoughts during the McCarthy-led Red Scare. Demonstrated GOP's commitment to family values by divorcing his first wife, and picking up another nubile young actress.	Governor of California, ran for President once in the seventies and lost big. Made triumphant national return in 1980, soundly defeating hapless Jimmy Carter. Went on to spend eight years napping through Cabinet meetings, joking about bombing the Soviets, selling arms to Iran, and conveniently forgetting everything he saw.
Fred Grandy (R) Actor Former U.S. Representative, Iowa	He played Gopher on The Love Boat - what could top that? Graduated magna cum laude from Harvard in 1970 (!?!) Served as CEO of Goodwill (!?!) Like every former Congressperson, now a lobbyist.	The G.O.P.'s secret shame. Espoused moderate views on gay rights, and clearly values charities. This may explain why he left Congress as the current crop of knee-jerk zealots took over in 1994.
Fred Thompson (R) Actor Incumbent U.S.Senator, Tennessee	Has made a career as "that one guy in that movie." Character actor appearances in numerous movies and TV series, ranging from "Curly Sue" to "Baby's Day Out" to Matlock. Sweet.	Wields considerable clout in the Senate's Finance and Government Affairs committees. Apart from a pro-immigrant position and no opinion on school prayer, pretty by-the-book extreme right wing positions on almost every issue. Noted anti-Clinton crusader.
Sonny Bono (R) Singer/ actor Former mayor of Palm Springs Former U.S. Representative, California	Vaguely hippie icon of the late sixties, early seventies. Starred with then-wife Cher in the Sonny and Cher Show. Put out a voluminous number of albums, but in later years, spent all his time singing "I Got You Babe." Hopelessly addicted to painkillers, killed himself by crashing into a tree while skiing	Despite his image as a pot-smoking hippie, and his own addiction to drugs, took the enlightened position that all other people addicted to drugs should be punished to the fullest extent of the law. As mayor of Palm Springs, needed cue cards to remember the pledge of Allegiance.
Michael Skupin (R) Survivor 2 castmember Contemplated U.S. Senate bid from Michigan	Software publisher, hunter, and now "motivational speaker." Yes, you too can learn how to turn your life around after passing out and falling face-first into a fire.	None so far, although he did use a group prayer as an opportunity to annoint himself leader of the Kucha tribe. Other tribesmates were less than amused.
Arnold Schwarzenegger (R) Actor/ bodybuilder Rumored to be considering California governor bid	Married Kennedy clanswoman Maria Shriver, so if he does run, may have an excuse to escape all those pesky get-togethers with the in-laws. Likes his Hummers. Archetype for Rainier Wolfcastle on The Simpsons ("Upon closer inspection, these are loafers.")	None yet, apart from appearing onstage with every GOP candidate who asks him to do so. Sadly, his Austrian birth precludes him from a Presidential run.
Warren Beatty (D) Actor Considered U.S. Presidential run in 2000	Played (duh) a Presidential candidate in Bulworth. Surprising number of leading-man roles still fall his way, despite being close to Reagan in age. Notorious womanizer, linked romantically (at some point) to almost every actress in Hollywood. Except, of course, former VJ Kennedy from MTV.	We searched long and hard for a Democrat who actually ran for office. This is the closest we could get.