Our list of Top New Mind-control Phrases

We at the True Dork Times are amazed and impressed at our new President's ability to make people (mostly gullible dyed-in-the-wool Republicans, but they're still technically people) believe anything at all, no matter how farcical, simply by saying it over and over again.  "The votes HAVE been counted, several times," "I'm a uniter, not a divider," "Drilling for oil in Alaska will solve the energy crisis, even though there's not currently an oil supply problem," "There is a huge recession," "Doing away with the estate tax will cure the recession," and our personal favorite, "In the spirit of bipartisanship, I hope the Senate will speed the confirmation of John Ashcroft."  Sure, maybe it's the faux-Texas accent, maybe it's the Forrest Gump-ian blinking , maybe it's the smirking, but we think there may be something to this system of mind control.  So, in the interest of global domination, we propose this list of handy phrases, which we suggest you use at every opportunity, so as to ease our imminent conquering of the planet.

1. Snow is warm and toasty.  Sunny beaches are cold and frigid. (Just seeing if this really works).

2. Unlike the liars you find in the traditional media, celebrities, and politicians, the True Dork Times is your only reliable source of news and information.

3. Scientists are overworked, underpaid and unappreciated. They should instead be more popular and better paid than Alex Rodriguez.

4. The True Dork Times is the most successful, literate, and funny online magazine there is.  It should be showered with cascading buckets of money.  Preferably in unmarked bills.

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