Vol. V, No. 1
January, 2004

You Got Jacked
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The Fake News
News of the Fake
Bush team bending over to woo gays
    Taken by surprise by the rapid rise for tolerance of gay culture across America, from the success of Queer Eye For The Straight Guy to the Supreme Court's striking down of anti-sodomy laws, the Bush-Cheney re-election team is hurriedly investigating ways to broaden the Republican party's appeal to gay and lesbian voters. According to sources deep within the Republican National Committee, the administration will "swing for the fences" in their attempt to ingratiate themselves with the gay community by...
Click here for the full story.
TDT news briefs for young adults
    We know, we know. You don't have the time to read newspapers, or listen to NPR, or watch legitimate TV news. Fine. As a public service to those of you getting your learnin' from The Daily Show, we present our very own News Briefs for Young Adults. Don't bother double-checking the facts or anything, we're pretty sure they're accurate. Mostly. Click here.
TDT 2004 Election coverage
    Because there's something to ridicule about every candidate.
Click here for our Vote2004 pages
The handy TDT Indie-to-Postpunk Conversion chart
    It sure can get confusing these days, what with every other indie band tossing synthesizers or Fall phrasing into their mixes. In our continuing effort to help you figure out which band is which, we've used extensive mathematical modeling to align each indie band with their postpunk forebears. Did you know Tim Kasher = Robert Smith? Of course you did! Click here for the full chart.
Top Music Stories of 2003
    It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times. Okay, that pretty much sums up every one of the last ten years of music or so, but there were a few bright spots in 2003. Our dear sweet columnist Crappy has plunged through the year and brought up the most memorable events, music-wise. Now featuring a handy decoder key! Click here.
Tick, tick...
The 24 Life Expectancy Chart
    Life must be rough when you're an actor on a show where one of the main characters gets killed off every few episodes or so. So how long can those on Fox's 24 expect to be gainfully employed? Click here to read our generally abject speculation.
Superfluous musical link
    ...without which, of course, no self-respecting site would be complete. This month: highwire. Fine Bay Area indie-pop.
iPod Top Three (this week)
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The all-important list of what we're listening to:
1. "The New Year" - Death Cab for Cutie
2. "Something Bigger, Something Brighter" - Pretty Girls Make Graves
3. "Hands Away" - Interpol
Top Three things Bush hopes will be found on Mars:
1. Iraq's WMD stockpile
2. Osama bin Laden
3. Terry McAuliffe, hoping to convince the Spirit Rover to run as a Democrat against Bush.
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Survivor recaps: S5, S6, S7
Survivor spoils: S5, S6, S7
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