By Colm Pewter
True Dork Times Cybertech Editor

The Official True Dork Times quiz!
1	The new Windows XP desktop screen of a sun-dappled meadow under a sky dotted with cottony clouds is actually:	(a) The view from Bill Gates' office window in Redmond, WA. (b) A scene from an idyllic world without Netscape. (c) An artist's representation of the new nation of Billgatesylvania (currently known as Australia).
2	When Bill Gates described the launch of Windows XP as "officially the end of the MS-DOS era," he meant:	(a) That the Windows XP platform code contains none of the old MS-DOS code. (b) That it was officially time to sell your old TI-99 4a. (c) That the era of ripping off Steve Jobs and IBM had ended and the new era of ripping off Linus Torvalds had begun.
3	By including Windows Messenger in the new edition of Windows XP, Microsoft has sent a message:	(a)  That it is not scared of antitrust litigation from AOL. (b)  That it is not scared of antitrust litigation from Yahoo! (c)  That there will be a Republican in the White House and Attorney General's office for as long as Bill Gates wants.
4	The Windows XP operating system software repeatedly beseeches users to sign up for Microsoft's identity authentication program, Passport, because:	(a) Online security is more important than ever. (b) It makes using the variety of other sofware titles from so many different companies, like Quicken, Explorer, Frontpage and Outlook, so much easier. (c) So that Bill Gates will be able to withdraw money directly from your account next year when you buy Windows XP II.
5	The best reason to buy Windows XP is:	(a) It is a crash-proof operating system. (b) It makes multimedia applications function like a breeze. (c)  Because they know where you are, and they will find you if you don't.
6	The XP in Windows XP stands for:	(a) X-tra Processing power required (b) Extreme Profits (c) Mac OS X, Pirated version
7	Windows XP is to "Crash-Proof" as:	(a) A parked car is to crash-proof. (b) A rental car is to crash-proof. (c) A Nascar is to crash-proof.
8	When Bill Gates said that Microsoft's Windows is ``the most important tool that's ever been created,'' he may have been forgetting:	(a) Fire (b) The Wheel (c) That 90% of people use Windows to look at porn and play solitaire.
9	When defending Windows XP Gates said:``It's a value for consumers. Why are there headlights in cars? Why don't they make you go and buy those things separately?'' What he really meant was:	(a) That it's better for the consumer if every piece of software on a computer comes bundled together from Microsoft and only Microsoft. (b) Using any other operating system will kill you, just like driving in a car at night without headlights. (c) Coming soon, "The Microsoft Taurus"
10	Bill Gates accusing AOL of excluding others on the Internet is like:	(a) The pot calling the kettle black. (b) The pot calling the kettle kettle. (c) The pot calling the pot pot.

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