Based on the frequent charge that we are just too negative around here, we've decided to set a precedent for happy, inclusive, uniter-not-a-divider rhetoric, by compiling a list of Things Which Don't Suck.  We envisioned this is as a rapidly-changing, frequently-updated list, which takes into account our reader's suggestions.  So far, this has meant you'll be lucky to see it change more than once a month, and it currently reflects entirely our overworked staff's opinions.

E-mail your suggestions to: truedorktimes@truedorktimes.com if you think a different strategy should be in order.

These are a few of our semi-favorite things, in no particular order.

1. The remarkable downward humor spiral as unfunny comic strips get passed on to second-generation "artists"
Case in point: "Family Circus," with Jeff "Jeffy" Keane now getting co-writer credit.  Already the lamest strip imaginable when creator and dad Bil Keane drew it, Jeffy seems to be taking a new tack: all kids are retards.  Sample "punchline": "Daddy, what can I build with my brick?"  Okay, technically, yes these do actually suck.  But they have slipped so far below mere suckiness that they're actually starting to come out the other side, and almost be funny, in that they are so unlikely to ever be funny to anyone, that it's hilarious they're even printed.  Similar results with "Hagar the Horrible."  We just pray that Jim Davis has some aspiring artist kids, so that "Garfield" can continue wasting valuable ink for generations to come.

2. Get Fuzzy
As "Family Circus" is to sucking, "Get Fuzzy" is to whatever the opposite of sucking is.  Darby Conley's strip just keeps getting better and better.  And he finally has a book out.

3. Winning your fantasy baseball league
Hey, we had to brag about it somewhere.  If only we could get this site to wear our exciting free T-shirt.

4. Wondering where Rudy Giuliani will live once he's out of office
Can he move out of the gay couple's apartment he's crashing at, and shack up with his mistress full time?  Will Steinbrenner let him just stay at the stadium, and use George Costanza's old under-the-desk bed?  Maybe he can rent a suite in Bill Clinton's office building, and crank up the tunes when Bill's trying to write?  These are the kind of things that keep us up at night.

5. The X-Box
(1) It's from Microsoft, and (2) Taco Bell is giving it away.  How could it possibly suck?

6. Responding to questions with "I can neither confirm nor deny"
The new-millennial way to politely extend one's middle finger in public.  Trendy!


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