We continue our ego-stroking tour inside the True Dork Times with a fascinating in-depth interview:
Q & A w/ TDT

By Nars Cissess
True Dork Times Self-referential Editor


Editor's note: One of the most frequent complaints we get here at the True Dork Times is: "Hey, who made you the expert on such-and-such?"  Well, we're here to inform you that even though we did, in fact, invent such-and-such, in our new spirit of openness, we're willing to answer some important reader questions.  Be sure to also check out our glimpse at the True Dork Times staff, here.


Question: Why do you guys hate President Bush so much?  You're just like the rest of the liberal media.
TDT:  We feel it's our patriotic duty to hate all politicians.  Besides, we're more libertarian than liberal.  In our view, the Republicans are evil, and the Democrats are stupid.  George W. Bush, in his attempt to bridge the gap between the parties, combines elements of both.

Question:  So why do you hate Matt Gallant so much, then?  What has he done to you?
TDT:  That's an easy one. We despise Matt Gallant because he's ugly.

Question:  Cool mag. How can I work for your zine?
TDT:  We welcome all submissions, especially for *cough* our Rant Page.  As for being a permanent employee, be forewarned that we have strict conditions we employ before hiring staff.  Here's an outline of our hiring test:
(1) Are you funny? (and here, we will not count funny-looking, funny in the head, or other such stuff. Unless we can make fun of you for it).
(2) Did you live on the third floor of New Dorm at Harvey Mudd College in both 1989 and 1990?
(3) If so, did we think you were cool then?  If the answer to this question is no, how much are you willing to pay us to hold our noses now?

Question:  Who died and made you the arbiters of cool?
TDT:  Andy Warhol.  Several years ago.  Really, you've got to try a little harder to keep up.

Question:  I've noticed that your site is not compliant with current web standards, such as Cascading Style Sheets (CSS1). Why is your site programmed so poorly?
TDT:  Because we're lazy.

Question:  Why does your Survivor part suck so much?
TDT:  That's a good question.  Mostly, it's because the show itself sucks, so coverage of a sucky show inevitably ends up sucking, to some sucky degree or other.  Also, we're really lame, have no lives, and are extremely poor at spoiling.

Question:  Where can I send the bribe to?
TDT:  Shhh!  That part was supposed to be our little secret!  Now, quietly, make sure nobody's looking, then email us at: truedorktimes@truedorktimes.com.  We'll fill you in on the details when it's safe.

Back to the True Dork Times