By Emma O'Youhessey
True Dork Entertainment Editor

ANAHEIM, California (AGB).  Hector Cruz disappeared mysteriously while working at Disneyland's new California Adventure Land on Thursday.  Hector has been a Disneyland employee for three years, and most recently was working as a tour guide in Disneyland's brand new California Adventure Land, which opened on February 2, 2001.  The new amusement complex is based on various California attractions, including Hollywood Land, Big Bear Land and even a small Disneyland Land.

It was while leading a tour past the Disneyland Land area of the California Adventure that Cruz dissappeared.  Cruz was explaining to the visitors that Disneyland Land has a small version Cinderella's Castle, the Magic Teacup Ride and a smaller Matterhorn, which the guides have nicknamed "The Mini-horn".  Also inside Disneyland Land is an even smaller version of the new theme park called California Adventure Land Land, which also contains an even smaller and more miniature park called Disney Land Land Land.

Hector Cruz was last seen standing by the miniature Disney Land Land Land when he wondered aloud if there was an even smaller California Adventure Land Land Land inside.

It was at this point that Cruz vanished in a poof of logic.  All that was left of him was a small Mickey Mouse hat with the word "Hector"
stitched across the top, and a 1998 collectors' edition button from "Mulan on Ice: The First Tour."  Hector's tour group was left shocked and aghast.

Fortunately the park was able to move the tour to front of the line for Space Mountain, which seemed to ease their grief considerably.

When asked to comment on the park's new logical hazard, Disney President Michael Eisner was quick to allay the fears of visitors and employees.  "Logic has never been a part of the Disneyland experience," Eisner stated, "We have a mouse, Mickey, who owns a dog.  We have a duck, Donald, who doesn't wear pants, but wears a towel when he gets out of the shower.  We allow gay people and minorities to work at the park. And what about the whole "The Emperor's New Groove" thing?  I think we cast David Spade?!!  Logical? I think not."

He continued "We have consistently informed employees to avoid thinking logically.  It just confuses the visitors who have spent upwards of 40 dollars apiece to wait in line for five or six hours."

Park officials have informed the True Dork Times that the mini-Keystone Kops who work in Disney Land Land have been on the case, as well as the mini-mini-LAPD who are portrayed in California Adventure Land Land.  The larger and better staffed mini-LAPD employed at California Adventure Land were not available for the case, as they were previously engaged in the "Rodney King Beating" section of the California Adventure parade, occurring hourly.

"We are on top of the case," Eisner concluded," For now we simply urge all guests to stop thinking and just give us their money.  That way we all come out ahead."