A TRUE DORK TIMES SING-ALONG!
Here's the story...

By Mustafa Nuther
True Dork Times Geopolitical Reruns Editor


Editor's Note: When we planned this festive article, we originally envisioned fancy Flash animations, or an auto-playing MP3 soundtrack, among other high-tech gizmos to enrich your viewing experience.  But after thinking about it, we realized (1) We're way too lazy to do all that; (2) having embedded audio might interfere with your screwing off at work to read this; (3) this is about people who still ride around on horseback, and (4) if you haven't heard the Brady Bunch theme (to whose melody this should be sung), giving you the music is unlikely to further your understanding of the implicit humor.  So sing along with us (especially if you're at work), a-one, a-two...

Here's the story,
About a man named Osama
Who was funding the evil Taliban
He had lots of money,
From growing poppies
The ones that become heroin

Here's the story
About a bunch of warlords
Who did not want to be ruled by the Taliban
They had a lot of guns
From the U.S.
Yet they could not win

'Til the one day all these warlords got together
and they knew that fooling the West was their only chance
if they could convince the West they would stay together
That's the way they all became the Northern Alliance
The Northern Alliance
The Northern Alliance
That's the way they became the Northern Alliance

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