Okay, we tried to be nice with "Things Which Don't Suck," but we just can't help ourselves.  Even now that we're standing united against phantom foes, there are still legions of things inundating us daily that just deserve our unmitigated scorn.  Here are a few of this month's Moronic Milestones, although we may have overlooked some.

E-mail your suggestions to: truedorktimes@truedorktimes.com if you think we missed something.

1. Rotowire's decision to become a pay service
Uh, your info was only marginally timely to start with, and nothing that wasn't available for free on ESPN.com.  We mainly liked the witty comments about various players' roto impacts, or lack thereof.  We think we can probably make up our own, for substantially less money.

2. Baseball owners' unanimous extension of Bud Selig's contract
So let's see... he's overseen a World Series-killing strike and rampant profiteering by the Yankees. His current plans include rewarding Twins owner Carl Pohlad with a 700% return on his 15-year investment, in gratitude for refusing to spend a penny of his billion-dollar fortune on the team's players or a stadium.  That, and no progress has been made at all in the month since the players' labor agreement expired.  All in all, a bang-up job!  (Personally, we'd like to see Mark McGwire take over, but that will never happen).

3. Spin's Artist of the Year, 2001:  U2
What, was Britney Spears unavailable for the photo shoot or something?

4. Bush's proclamation that a biotech firm producing cloned human stem cells is morally wrong
Apparently he was stunned and amazed that his half-assed attempt to block university research on therapeutic use of stem cells did not also carry over to privately-funded companies.  This implies it's okay for the federal government to interfere with private industry when the work might lead to breakthroughs in disease prevention or cure.  Funny, because bureaucratic regulation is still unconscionable when it impedes wealthy Republican donors from reaping enormous energy profits while destroying the environment.


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