By Idi Yatz
True Dork Times Logic Editor
NEW
YORK, NY (TDT) Satellite photos revealing the site of the Survivor:
Africa's filming in Kenya, featured recently on NBC's Today Show
and in USA Today, reveal a ring-like perimeter cotnaining multiple
round structures. Believers in the "Mars Face" have leaped on these images,
claiming they offer irrefutable proof that the Cydonia mound was constructed
by an intelligent species.
Frank Tannenbaum, founder and president of the Institute for the Denial of Incontrovertible and Obvious Truths, a non-profit foundation dedicated to the "perpetuation of paranormal and extraterrestrial stories, especially those that have been thoroughly proven to be inaccurate or false," was thrilled by the release of the new images. "The similarity, and yet dissimilarity of the two images, irrefutably proves that the face on Mars was the handiwork of a master race of brilliant sculptors," he said. "Furthermore, because we believe it to be true, it must be, and we need to see some hard proof otherwise."
When asked about more-recent images released by NASA's Mars Global Surveyor three years ago, which captured the Cydonia structure at much higher resolution, revealing it to look less like a face and more like a pile of rocks, Tannenbaum was unfazed. "That was purely and simply a NASA cover-up!" he scoffed. "The only logical explanation is that the face has eroded significantly. Has NASA sent astronauts there to excavate the base of the structure? Of course not! Why? Oh they'll tell you it's difficult, or they're under-funded, but we all know it's because they're afraid of the truth."
Survivor fan Dan Bollinger, who persuaded the Denver-based Space Imaging company to train their IKONOS satellite on the Survivor camp, thought Tannenbaum's interpretation lacked solid logical support. "Our satellite images show structures that were built in Kenya by the cast and/or crew of Survivor within the last two months," Bollinger stated, bemusedly. "I really can't see how this relates in any way to a pile of rocks on the surface of Mars. Plus, our image doesn't really look like a face."
"That's exactly our point," retorts Bruce Peters, leader of the Mars Object Remote Observation Network, a group with goals similar to those of Tannenbaum's, when told of Bollinger's skepticism. "The new photos show a much more primitive artistic eye. The structure is a somewhat abstract representation of a humanoid face with many pimples, and perhaps a severe case of elephantiasis. But the face at Cydonia shows a much more advanced hand, clearly the work of super-geniuses. Do super-geniuses work for Survivor? I think not. But we think these Survivor people, just by putting this structure where a satellite could see it, must be somehow related to the builders of the face at Cydonia."
NASA officials declined to comment, although one researcher, who requested
anonymity, said "We could rationally prove this beyond reasonable doubt
each day and every day, and the next day the same people would come back
with the same blurry old pictures, and demand another proof."
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