By Paranoid Bill
True Dork Times Contributing Conspiracy Theory Editor

Sodium fluoride, a toxic substance and listed on the EPA hazardous materials list, is currently produced as a byproduct of the fertilizer industry (an aluminum industry) and would be very expensive to dispose of, were it not for the willingness of state, local and federal government agencies to purchase it in large quantities and put it in your tap water.  The apparent purpose is to strengthen our teeth.  However:

There is only anecdotal, and no solid statistical, evidence showing that communities that have a fluoridated water supply actually have better dental records than those who do not.  In fact, Canada just released a study showing that residents of Vancouver, non-fluoridated, have better dental health than Toronto,  fluoridated.

Why put millions of tons of sodium fluoride in the residential water supply when less than 1% is actually used for drinking?  If it is actually useful, then wouldn't it be much more efficient to put it into products that are ingested 100%, like milk (highly regulated), alcohol (highly regulated), or other consumables?  The current system resembles using a jackhammer to put in a thumbtack.  It would actually be cheaper to give out 4 tubes of fluoridated toothpaste to every citizen each year than it does to fluoridate our water supply.

Of course, this would require much much less sodium fluoride, which would defeat the real purpose of the legislation.  To hide the waste in us, and to let the residual sodium fluoride reside in our water supply.  If the industrial-masonic complex of private individuals who actually run this country could convince us of the medical benefits of arsenic, mercury and PCB's, then those would be in our drinking water as well.

One other benefit of the sodium fluoride is that fluoride also happens to be the reactive agent in prozac.  The Nazis used sodium flouride in the drinking water in occupied Russia and prison camps to quell the prisoners.  We are now the prisoner.

It's all part of the chemical pacification of the American population that started full force in the late sixties and continues through today.  From the artificially-implanted progesterone in our meats and poultry and vegetables, to the promotion of soy products through tax incentives (largest natural source of estrogen), to the widescale prescription of drugs to our youth.  And those drugs that further quell our youth, marijuana and ectasy, are given only sideways glances in the enforcement sector.

Instead of wondering what the hell is going on with this country, we spend our time wondering about roadsigns and trying to figure out who let the dogs out.  The irony is that when people travel outside this country they are warned not to drink the water, when the truly dangerous water is what we are feeding our citizens here at home.

- Paranoid Bill -

Paranoid Bill lives in an aluminum foil-lined shack, somewhere in rural Montana.  He sends his stories out by carrier pigeon, once a month.  The man in the photo may or may not be Bill.  All we know is, we received this photo, attached to a bird, with a pasted-together collage of newsprint letters alleging "This is me."