Andy is cranky.  Very, very cranky.  And he likes to make lists, most of which happen to contain around, oh... ten things.  Now, we're not saying that everyone named Andy is cranky (although that old guy on CBS makes us wonder), and we certainly wouldn't want to insinuate that this is similar to other decimal-length lists o' things which also, coincidentally, might appear occasionally on CBS.  No, we don't want to suggest that at all.

Today, you're in luck!  Cranky Andy has the following lists for you:

Least Looked Up Words In the New 2002 Edition of the Oxford English Dictionary
Top countries named Guinea
Fun ways to celebrate Cinco de Mayo
Cool new features of Mac OS X
Things never to say to a bride-to-be

You can thank us later.

10. Subliminable

9.  Blindness

8.  Word

7.  Misspell

6.  Dude

5.  Definition

4.  Alphabetical

3.  Thrackent

2.  Illiterate

1.   Dictionary

10. Equatorial Guinea

9.  France

8.  Bahamas (including the islands of Western and Southern Guinea)

7.  Guyana

6.  French Guyana

5.  Suriname (Formerly Dutch Guyana)

4.  Ghana

3.  Guinea-Bissau

2.  Papua New Guinea

1.  Guinea

1.  Go "Supreme" on all Taco Bell orders.

2.  Paint your Ford Explorer in I.N.S. Green and try to enter it as a float in your local Cinco de Mayo Parade.

3.  Take part in the 'Latin Explosion' by recording a Spanish language album, just like Christina Aguilera.

4.  Go to a karaoke bar and sing "La Bamba" because that has never been done before.

5.  Shout out "Bring on the Chalupas!" every 5 minutes.

6.  Watch all five hours of "Sabado Gigante" without once making reference to any of the hot women dancing around the set.

7.  Beat up any French person you meet (also a good plan for Seis de Mayo through Treinta y Uno de Mayo).

8.  Speak Spanish all day, if you can't speak Spanish just use an accent like Speedy Gonzalez.

9.  Look for your lost dog "Speck" in the middle of San Jose's Cinco de Mayo Festival.

10. Party like it's Mil Novecientos Noventa y Nueve.
 

1.  In order to make it more like Windows, it automatically crashes 1 time an hour.

2.  So fast it makes your Imac as powerful as a Compaq...sold in 1998.

3. Steve Jobs will go to the house of every remaining Mac user to personally install the software. That's right both of them.

4. New Aqua interface incorporates revolutionary "Dock" protocol that lines up small icons of active programs on the bottom of the screen in no manner related to how the Windows toolbar does it.  (Please don't look at the bottom of your screen).

5. Replaces complicated use of the mouse with wicked awesome keyboard shortcuts just like Wordperfect, but better.

6. It is X times better than the Mac OS 9.

7. "Extract Zipped Files" function completely overhauled and renamed  "Xtract Zipped Files"

8. Incorporates running stock ticker that monitors the ever declining value of Apple Stock.

9. By running OS X on an I-Mac with I-Tunes and and X-media for Macintosh you can watch the famous 1984 superbowl commercial where  Apple predict it will surpass IBM.

10. Boxes containing software available in lemon, taupe, mauve, elderberry and wine.

Things never to say to a bride-to-be

1. Why don't you just bake the cake the night before the ceremony?

2. Instead of renting an expensive tuxedo, I could just wear one of those cool Tuxedo shirts.

3. We should pass a collection plate around during the ceremony, just like they do in regular church. Except this time we will keep the money.

4. We don't have to invite both of your brothers. Just choose your favorite.

5. Other than the bouquet, I don't think we need any other flowers in the ceremony.

6. Instead of wedding rings, why don't we just exchange meaningful glances.

7. Instead of registering for gifts, why don't we just have people pay down your student loan?

8. Why don't you wear one of the dresses you already own?

9. Why don't we have my dad take the pictures with his new digital camera?

10. Do you really think you should be wearing a white wedding dress? I mean, come on, who are you kidding?