Welcome to the True Dork Times'
Clearinghouse of 
Survivor "Humor"
Okay, yeah, these all kinda suck. We'll try harder in the future, really.

Survivometer
Survivor cast info, boot odds. Try S3, S4, S5, S6.

Spoilers
View our smattering of info here. S3, S4, S5, S6.

Episode recaps
To help dredge up the pain. S3, S4, S5, S6.

If there's one thing we love about Survivor, it's that it's so easy to ridicule.  Thanks, Mark!  In our short time, the True Dork Times has accumulated a reasonably-sized pile of Survivor-related items that we sat around, cracking ourselves up over.  Of course, our standards are low, your mileage may vary.  Perhaps unsettlingly, we foresee a future in which more of the same kind of crap is likely to pile up here.  So wade on through these brackish waters, and see what happens to be floating by today.  The most recent stuff is more likely to be upstream, so tread carefully.

NOTE: If you believe any of this stuff to be true, you have bigger problems than we can solve here. It's fake. Deal with it.

CONTENTS (Dated for freshness! Although they may have been none too fresh when created).

Survivor: Marquesas - Page One
(March 16, 2002) Just Released: How to survive in the wilderness without really trying

Survivor: Africa - Page One
(December 5, 2001) Incredibly exciting uses for incredibly exciting and useful Survivor Buffs (TM)
(November 12, 2001) Just in time for Christmas!  The new Survivor: Africa "Watch Me Bruise" Lindsey doll!
(November 7, 2001) Now in paperback! 100 Top Secrets of Effective Persuasion, by Silas Gaither

Survivor: Africa - Page Two
(November 3, 2001) Chef Brandon's International Home o' Flapjacks!
(October 21, 2001) Introducing: The world's most effective security system
(October 12, 2001) First Survivor 3 endorsement deal: "Clarence's Black Beans"
(September 9, 2001)  CBS reveals "daring, original" Survivor: Africa cast

Survivor: The Australian Outback - Page One
(August 12, 2001) Mark Burnett launches menswear line - MB: shawls for manly men
(August 2, 2001) Jeff Probst - My Scariest Injuries: Caught on Tape!
(July 21, 2001) Keith has a new show on Animal Planet this fall