Crappy the Smart-Assed Toilet

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We know, we’re being naive. I mean, once Franz Ferdinand broke, who could have imagined major labels would be falling all over themselves to sign every bunch of synth-toting, eyeliner-wearing twenty-somethings they could find?

And yeah, we suppose we’re partially guilty of egging them on for non-ironically liking those Futureheads and Bloc Party songs (hey, they have cool accents).

But was there really a compelling excuse for The Bravery? Just asking.

In the name of all that is good and holy, just stop! Cocaine-addicted monkeys with free access to unlimited drugs have more self control!

You’d think, after all of Perry Farrell’s First Amendment battles, he’d at least sell out to a brewer with slightly less obvious ties to right-wing extremists.

Whatever. Cash in now, honey.

…it may be time to cut off your indie rock shag haircut.

Also known as the Oktober People.

Come on, they played SXSW. They’d make an excellent supporting act if the reunited Slint gets around to touring (again - the first tour was mighty short).

Why are they not on Touch and Go yet? Chop, chop, people!

Okay, so someone can recreate the sounds of Talking Heads and Tom Tom Club, almost yelp for yelp, twenty years after the fact.

But why would anyone want to?