Was there another episode of Survivor last week? Oops, silly us, we must have been expecting another three-week layoff again. Since CBS is trying desperately to use dog-whistle advertising (”Watch Terry battle the Others! Only on CBS!”) to coax unsuspecting Lost viewers into watching Survivor: Panama - Exile Island, we assumed they had just switched over to the typical Lost scheduling practice of one new episode per month.

So, let’s go review what the DVR saved for us here. Okay… there’s Austin, talking about how he’s going to be the next out, and everyone on Casaya hushedly plotting to make it so. All right, let’s fast forward a bit… challenge… food… rain… another challenge… Terry wins immunity yet again… tribal council. Right, here’s Probst with the votes. They’re voting for Aras over Shane? Okay, whatever. Crazy La Minas. And, Austin is voted out. Ho hum. Are you sure you want to delete? Hmm… yes!

Hold on, we’re now getting word that there may have been more to the episode than we got out of our four-minute survey. Something about Terry offering the hidden immunity idol to people, who apparently laughed in his face and voted for Austin, anyway. Didn’t the last episode pretty much establish that Terry made a great career move when he chose being a pilot over sales? Oh, right. That must be what the episode title, “The Power of the Idol,” was all about. We had just assumed that CBS was raising the white flag in their battle with FOX for the under-25 demographic.

Then again, what was the power of the idol, exactly? Let us count its many apparent powers:

(1) CBS had a shiny new sales pitch for Jeff Probst to deliver, pre-show. Come see our exciting new concept, Exile Island! Never before used, except in Palau! And there’s a hidden immunity idol! Somebody will find it and never use it! But we’ll keep sending people back to super-exciting Exile Island! Look, shivering, starving people! Isn’t this great! It sure is! Hey, let’s drop the word “Panama” from the series title, and name it after this, instead!

Except, of course, that the whole “scenes from Exile Island” concept has pretty much turned into an afterthought ever since Terry found the idol. Much like the tailies on Lost, once they reached the other castaways’ camp. Hey look! New castaways! Aren’t they great? Okay, let’s not show them any more.

(2) The idol does give CBS an exciting new twist to use in hyping otherwise entirely suspense-free episodes such as this one. Before, the ad producers had to resort to lame, transparently bogus teases like “Tune in this week, as Terry tries to convince the Casayas to switch to his side!” Now they can use new-and-improved mantra of “Tune in this week, as Terry tries to use the hidden idol to convince the Casayas to switch to his side!” You can see how your life has been dramatically changed for the better because of this.

(3) And best of all, it allows the editing of the actual episodes to create suspense where there really isn’t any (as Austin even admitted in his post-boot interviews). Will Aras make it through tribal council, or get done in by the hidden idol? Oh.My.God! Bruce is voting for someone whose name starts with an “A”! Of course, as spoilerphobic fans have complained repeatedly, way back in the post-Ep6 preview CBS showed Aras and Terry competing in a challenge that has yet to be seen, which sort of ruined the attempted suspense. Not that we’re complaining, CBS! We’re spoilerphiles, we swear! Bring it on!

So anyway, yeah, unless there is some sort of voodoo rainmaking prowess associated with the hidden idol that we’re not aware of, we remain a bit less than impressed with its alleged powers. The potential for mucking up the game does count for something we’ll admit, and it sure as hell does make the show more watchable than the multihour chalkboard/fingernails experience that’s propping up FOX’s ratings at the moment.

Then again, the same can be said for almost any show, in theory. Eh, screw it. Maybe we’ll just start watching ESPN2’s Viking: The Ultimate Obstacle Course Challenge full-time instead. There really isn’t much that can beat a seemingly endless series of chipper, determined, occasionally amusingly-dressed, athletic Japanese people bouncing off incredibly difficult moving hazards, and one-by-one having their dreams of success extinguished as they splash into the chilly water below. Maybe Survivor should just encourage their contestants to wear tutus for challenges. Survivor 13: Wacky Costume Challenge? We’d probably watch that. Once, at least.