Eight days, four new episodes of three of the four series we actually watch. As far as TV excitement goes, that’s pretty good. As long, of course, as the new seasons don’t completely suck. So do they? Well no, not completely, anyway. Or not yet, at least.

Survivor: Guatemala premiered first, and to be honest, we’re probably not the best judges here, because we’ll watch just about anything that has to do with the Maya, including possibly even the crappy pseudo-documentaries you’ll find on places like Fox or TLC that claim the Maya pyramids were built by aliens. Okay, we’d probably turn those off before they’re over, but still. Of course, this is Survivor, so any resemblance to actual Maya culture and history will be (1) rare, (2) factually inaccurate, and (3) performed by a bunch of buff, white American models. Still, we’re allegedly a Survivor spoiler site, so it’s occasionally necessary to actually watch the show.

We loved that the first half was plagiarized directly from the Eco-Challenge, which is still by far Mark Burnett’s greatest creation. Unfortunately, they apparently cut out E-C elements from the actual show (a rafting segment that shows up in the opening credits), and also managed to avoid mentioning that the Maya traveled between cities on foot, using raised highways that are still present today. Seems like an obvious thing to include, but hey, they must have been pressed for time to get all those puking shots in, and according to Family Guy, broadcast vomiting is the height of televised art. This must be why Survivor keeps getting nominated for Emmys. But all in all, not bad.

Next up was the third season premiere of the best show on television, Arrested Development. And… well, it was pretty good. Fine continuation of the GOB/Steve Holt! storyline, and the George-Michael/Maeby one, but the rest seemed a bit formulaic. Lindsay really needs something to do. Running the company perhaps. And the “joke” of repeated scenes of various characters in the same pose (here, waiting fruitlessly to go fishing at the cabin) worked in “Sad Sack,” but was tired here, even by the second repetition. But still, a bad Arrested Development scene is still about 10x funnier than anything ever filmed for Will & Grace or Everybody Loves Raymond. Not that Emmy voters would ever know the difference.

And lastly, there was LOST. We were pleased with the improved use of the flashback sequences, actually interweaving plot developments in the flashback scenes to propel the island scenes (rather than having to wait for a single payoff with the last flashback). Decent handling of the show’s inherent science-vs-mysticism debate, but as always, the balance ends up tilting strongly towards the mysticism side, which gets a bit tiresome. The secondary cast seemed a bit stiff in their screen time, but since they were on for less than a minute, it didn’t matter much. The action moved decently swiftly, and the major open questions were at least addressed in a semi-timely fashion. We do wish ABC would adopt the model the other show we watch, 24, uses for airing: opening in January and running the entire series without interruption or repeats. But nobody asked us. Although they clearly should, and pay us handsomely for the privilege. Cheap bastards.