These are inspiring times, times which make us thank our lucky stars that we are Americans.  Times which make us re-evaluate what we can hope for in life, just by being Americans.  Times that cause us to re-envision the American Dream.  Starting now, this dream is as follows:

Step One
Be born to a rich and powerful family.

Step Two
Don't try very hard in school, get mediocre grades, but still go to an Ivy League college, thanks to Poppy's being a rich and powerful alumnus.  Don't study very hard. Drink a lot. Get arrested a few times. Hang out with your fellow cheerleaders.  Try several exotic drugs.

Step Three
Instead of going to war with the rest of your generation, use your dad's influence to skip you past 250 other suckers on the waiting list for a cushy assignment learning to fly jets in Alabama.  Don't even bother showing up for the last year and a half of your "service." Continue the drinking and cocaine snorting.

Step Four
Use poppy's influence to get yourself into business school, then embark on a string of failed business enterprises.  Have poppy's rich buddies bail you out, while leaving your investors in the lurch. Put $500k into a baseball team (0.5% of its value), and convince your fellow owners that, because your dad is rich and powerful, you should be the managing partner. Trade away Sammy Sosa for Harold Baines, then have the taxpayers build you a new stadium. Sell the team for a cool $14 million profit.

Step Five
Use your rich and powerful family name to become governor of the second-largest state in the country. On the few days you do work, take frequent naps and time out for video games. Take credit for laws passed in spite of your vetoes. Execute many prisoners. Punish schools for having students as mediocre as you were. Increase the punishments for alcoholics and addicts doing the same drugs you did. Coast your way to incomprehensible massive popularity.

Step Six
Convince national party leaders that, since your poppy was rich and powerful, they should shower you with campaign money. Use $1000 bills as toilet paper during your campaign.  Suck up to the racists and religious nuts in your party to knock off your charismatic, sensible and clever primary opponent.  Promptly jog back to centrist themes once he's disposed of. Bribe potential voters with promises of tax cuts you will have no power to put into place yourself. Smirk frequently. Have your brother deliver the electoral votes from his fourth-most populous state, wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more. Evoke the "Presidential" aura of Reagan by twiddling your thumbs at your ranch, wearing band-aids and cowboy boots.

Step Seven
Snuggle into your shiny new White House bed promptly by nine. Smirk frequently. Reward poppy's old cronies by letting them do all the work for you. Coast your way to incomprehensible massive popularity.

So there it is, in seven easy steps. Something we can all, or at least around 0.1% can, aspire to.